Strolling hand in hand
Under midnight stars
Silence has overcome us
Yet, nothing needs to be said.
Our thoughts can be heard
with every breath we take.
I would give the world
To live in this moment forever.
Author notes
Love, it is beautiful
Option 8.
In a list
A contest entry
- Simple moving by bookdragon.
625 points, ended September 24, 2007, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Another Fun Contest--I have nothing better to do with my points! =) by ItalianGurrl.
550 points, ended September 26, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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nice poem. short and sweet. good luck in the contest!
♥Rachel♥ -
Loved the edit! it seems cleaner and the IMPLIED is always more moving then the TOLD.
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Strolling hand in hand
Under midnight stars
Silence has overcome us
Yet, nothing needs to be said.
Our thoughts can be heard
with every breath we take.
I would give the world
To live in this moment forever
I was caught by this but felt the poem should have ended here, nothing is added to the moment by the rest of the poem, in fact the end detracted from the stark beauty of the first lines. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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Hmm, you are absolutely right!! I am going to edit it, thank you so much for the input!!
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