Compassions lifted
upon souls rejuvenated
in a worldly utopia
facing famine and despair
scandalous feudality
Feverishly delving into
challenges of woe
fighting a surmountable
ghastly past of turmoil
living for tomorrow
with hope gone astray
disdained by tribal leaders
shunning futile
Everlasting dreams
of hope and faith
competing for....
peace
Author notes
PROMPT:
A snippet from one of my pieces that I rather like. Take it where you will
"inner peace invaded
with the fierceness
of Mongol tribes
burying feudal thoughts
beneath temples
of self-awareness;"
A contest entry
- Quickie, 30 minutes, 10 entries, 50 Words. Beat The Clock! by Cupcrazy.
450 points, ended September 9, 2007, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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A very nice piece. You have addressed a social issues with very personal, real emotions. The title and the feel of the lines are a bit disheartening, but it makes the reader pay attention and say, "hey, we should do something about this, ya know." A very good write.
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Very beautifully written. Great work
Bunny
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This poem inspired a second reading to further extract all the meaning and depth. I think you have captured the history of the world in just fifty words. Very well done. Good luck in this contest. Peace, Liz
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THIS IS REALLY good and vision of all is evident,good luck...MM
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wonderful piece.
thanks for sharing this
great take on the prompt.
Tory -
Your prompt! A snippet from one of my pieces that I rather like. Take it where you will
"inner peace invaded
with the fierceness
of Mongol tribes
burying feudal thoughts
beneath temples
of self-awareness;"
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
