Thoughts tattered, splattered,
completely shattered.
Unending agony of pain,
a train wreck in my brain.
Cannot sleep, the fears are deep,
up they creep.
I'm tightly wound, not on the ground,
serenity can't be found.
Stay out of the car, you wont get far,
you'll find a bar.
Help me.
Author notes
Prompt:
"inner peace invaded
with the fierceness
of Mongol tribes
burying feudal thoughts
beneath temples
of self-awareness;"
Love You Tory.
In a list
A contest entry
- Quickie, 30 minutes, 10 entries, 50 Words. Beat The Clock! by Cupcrazy.
450 points, ended September 9, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Very nice piece, loved the flow and rhyme. Hugs, Bunny
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nice poem great use of internal and end rhyme. Makes this poem just fly by when you're reading it. You express pain and angst well, here, and pull your reader along with you.
Good luck in the contest. -
I liked this one very much. The rhyme scheme worked well and the poem moved along at a brisk pace. Good luck in this contest. Peace, Liz
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this was a deep and powerful write filled with porvoking words
hope your both ok..just read mums comment
so now i can worry 
love ya and best of luck
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Humor is good in this, like it a lot,MM
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this is deep.
You know this was me just yesterday.
Not a bar but a lodge..damn bingo...damn
self not being strong enough.
Great job on capturing the pain within me,
I am guilty, battling the mind of an alcoholic.
I was one, I am one, I will continue fighting,
for I am better sober, and within right thoughts.
Love you hun,thanks for showing me , me.
Tory
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mum you ok
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hun you have alot of strenght upon oyur side and in your heart and your words deeply show it. well done and many blessings xxx
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Your prompt! A snippet from one of my pieces that I rather like. Take it where you will
"inner peace invaded
with the fierceness
of Mongol tribes
burying feudal thoughts
beneath temples
of self-awareness;"
Adding your comment:
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