Stuck in this rut
I fell into by mistake,
Trying to get out,
But at a loss for
The words that would
Set me free,
Yet still they remain,
Inside my head,
Trapped,
And cannot escape.
Author notes
option 6-writer's block.
owl-lover
A contest entry
- Like Strands of Fist and Bone by Saint Gut-Free.
600 points, ended October 7, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Cure For Writer's Block? by trista.
450 points, ended November 9, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I think this says exactly what you wanted it to...but it left me wanting MORE. Sometimes that's a good thing...but I really do feel you could have expanded your thoughts a bit to make this stand out and give it more power. You may also want to take a look at the punctuation. Although there may not be anything technically wrong with it, it reads much like a run-on sentence. I think with a poem this short in particular, it's important to slow your readers down with a period or two. Just my opinion, anyway.
This was a quick but enjoyable read. Thank you for your entry, and good luck in the contest.
Best wishes,
~J.
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