My head is pounding, my pulse is racing, people around me are saying good-bye.
Do they notice, or even care? So this is what it feels like to die.
I try to grab on to something solid, to let me know reality's there.
Finally I black out, a merciful kindness given by fate to stop the despair.
I don't know why, I don't know how, but something stopped my death that day.
So close I could feel it, just pulling me under, but somehow something found a way.
Now I think to myself quite often, beneath the tree and clothed in shade.
Death may come, I know it will, but when it does, I won't be afraid.
So prettily sparkling, this beautiful ocean. I'm wandering in from the shoreline.
The waves pick me up and carry me further. I'm blinded by the diamond-like shine.
My lungs fill with water, it pulls me in deeper, I don't even have the strength to cry.
The people on the beach are screaming to help me. So this is what it feels like to die.
When I'm weak and tired, awaiting my death,
I break the surface and catch a breath.
I don't know why, I don't know how, but something stopped my death that day.
So close I could feel it, just pulling me under, but somehow something found a way.
Now I think to myself quite often, beneath the tree and clothed in shade.
Death may come, I know it will, but when it does, I won't be afraid.
A drunken driver pulls off of the freeway and onto the wrong side of the road.
Toward a pair of little blonde pigtails belonging to twins only six years old.
He wasn't stopping, and there are those who question whether I am sane.
I had to stop the coming collision, so I quickly turn to the other lane.
I don't know how, but I know why.
I was kept alive so I could die.
It was well worth the price I paid.
Those girls would be gone if I would have stayed.
A contest entry
- Anything you want by MrCrepsley.
600 points, ended September 10, 2008, 188 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I realize this isn't exactly a work of literary genious, but if you want to comment, please do so, even if to criticize.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Wow
This poem just blew me away. I think this is the best poem I've read so far from you. -
beneath the tree and clothed in shade ... so descriptive and poetic ... a pretty description of death. Thank you for our entry.
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This is amazing. The is no need to criticize this work of mastery. You completely wowed me. I am in awe of this write. Amazing, truly amazing!!!
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Wowzer!!!
Wow, wow and wow! Fabtastic write, this is awesome. I love the storyline and the twist at the end....superb!! Hope to read more of you
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This is amazing Mariah! I loved it, especially the way it rhymed. Most rhyming poems feel forced, but this didn't. I kept wondering what would happen at the end, and I wasn't disappointed at the closure of the poem.Love Jojo
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wow, i completely wasn't expecting it to end the way it did! a tragic write, well done.
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You really are an amazing writer. This is a great piece. The use of repetition has a powerful effect, and the imagery is striking. There is so much here that is memorable, but I was particularly drawn to the lines,
"Now I think to myself quite often, beneath the tree and clothed in shade.
Death may come, I know it will, but when it does, I won't be afraid." Keep up the great work!
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Hey!
Don't knock your own work-you have talent! I love the story feel to this-you invoke great imagery-especially diamond like shine-that really caught my imagination. Really thought provoking concept too-like is it fate? Chance? Or just the scales of life weighing each instance?
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Wow! Very powerful piece. To almost die ... then to be saved ... only to die saving someone else. A thought-provoking concept.
"I don't know how, but I know why.
I was kept alive so I could die.
It was well worth the price I paid.
Those girls would be gone if I would have stayed."
Some people say there are coincidences, but I wonder. Maybe things happen according to a plan. There have been many times when I saw situations where if 'this' hadn't happened, then 'that' wouldn't have happened. I think we are saved sometimes, because there is still work for us to do. This is a great! Write on! ...JB♥
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