old man
tending to morning flowers
beer in hand
Author notes
I don't believe in 5-7-5 because it doesn't really make sense in English haiku. If you don't like this because of that, then I apologize. I still believe in embracing the heart of haiku, capturing a single moment in time that focuses on the world around us and our surroundings. I don't really think it's possible to write haiku about moments that haven't happened to you or to write haiku about a moment you could just simply imagine. But anyway /end rant.
Also, a bit of exposition about the poem. I live right next to an American Legion, and there is one person (presumably a veteran) that I always see tending the flowers, pruning them, pulling out weeds, etc. I was walking around early one morning and this happened to me and I felt like it was a haiku moment.
A contest entry
- JUST ONE SINGLE HAIKU by Swan song.
550 points, ended September 15, 2007, 20 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Very well written.
Congrats on the bronze!
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not sure why you needed to explain
lol and haiku is traditionally about painting a mental image, so i dont agree at all that you have to have experienced the moment. this is a good write, but i think its more of a senryu than a haiku. well done. -
Yes it was a this is a good haiku and no I agree with you Haiku does not need to be 5-7-5 and I am not requiring that in the contest. I like it to be close, but on occasions I have seen haikus as little as five words. I enjoyed this poem and will read it again.
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wow haiku and lesson too
nice
good luck with this contest
for he is hard to please.
Riftkin
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