I don't want to do this anymore,
can I take this back now?
I know it's not that easy,
but there must be a way... somehow.
I made a mistake and I'm sorry.
I never meant for this to be,
when I thought this through
there were things I couldn't see.
Now I'm getting older,
and my future's not so bright
the hopes and dreams I used to have
are slipping out of sight.
My loved ones say "stay positive"
but I'm just not sure I'm able,
at the moment I cant find a place
in my life where I am stable.
I pray happiness gets here soon
an sunshine brightens my days
I hope this depression fades
and this sadness is just a phase.
Author notes
It's been a while since I have written this is just something that came out one afternoon.
please be gentle...
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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hey you
love it, explains it so well.
at present this section My loved ones say "stay positive"
but I'm just not sure I'm able,
at the moment I cant find a place
in my life where I am stable.
This explains what is happening for me right now!!!
everything gets better, but i guess it gets worse first xx
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good
well falon the choices that we make are ones that we have to live i belive you told me that but good write any ways .......
Adam
P.s give my babies a great big hug for me and tell them that i love thm -
This is thought provoking.
My first impression is that this is a phase we all go through at one time or other and not unusual at all. Emotionally I am glad that by your authors notes you wrote this a while ago and hope that you are more possitive now. This is a hard topic to write about but you did a remarkable job of this and it is well written. You couldn't have explained the feeling any better. This is not awkward in the least and needs no changes. You know if you need to bolster your confidence at any time you only need to read the great comments about your writing, and then you will see how well you are thought of. The title is very good and the first line is superb. The last line "and this sadness is just a phase" is the very best way to end this poem on such a positive note. I loved all of this it is truly a great poem.
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Hmmm. Well, I thought it was a bit shallow, but it was a pretty good write. Except for the verse:
"I made a mistake and I'm sorry.
I never meant for this to be,
when I thought this through
there were things I couldn't see."
The last line feels too long, even though it's only two syllables longer than the one above it. I'm not sure why, it might just be me. -
hmm...its sad.. and at first actually its not so clear of wat is the prob exactly. but i figured you were jus takn generally rite? well i got ya. i feel that the sky is falling sometimes too.. hmm,, but i figure.. you jus gottta lsn to your "loved ones".
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Depression is a stage that all humans must face at least once in their lifetime. For some, it comes and goes, then for others like myself, it stays for years. So I can definitely relate to this poem as if I wrote it myself. You did an awesome job penning this. There is always time to revise it, but for you to pour it out so honestly is great! I found this to be a very good write.
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i'll be gentle.. and tell you the truth this is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G....I like this alot great write. this is awesomeness. Heather
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I do believe these are feelings that we all do have at one time or another [and as rightfully as we have feelings of happiness] I hope that the clouds will lift for you soon and that indeed there will be sunshine again..[there usually is]. Best wishes,
reenie
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