This World tore us apart
Our friends and family didn't approve
Men and women made their moves
My arms held around you tight
Into that cool Summer's night
Our minds racing through
What we were about to do
We made a pact
A lover's oath
We wrote each other a reminder note
Tears streamed down my face
You kissed me and my mind replaced
I gazed into your stormy eyes
As we drove home saying our " Goodbyes"
My note read "I promise you
I'll live fully, no matter what I go through
In Death we shall be together"
And that's what I said in my letter
I opened yours as I got in the door
My heart sunk into the floor
Your's said " I love you so
This break up has killed me
I'll never let you go
In death we shall be
But I will now leave
Preparing a lover's cove for us
Remember my love,love and trust"
I cried and ran out but I was too late
You killed yourself leaving a trace
Of my note taped on your heart
And on it you wrote" We'll never part"
Now here I stand before you within Death's grasp
Even though time has past
I love you as much as before
Let's be faithful in death
And love once more
You kissing me softly as I hug you tight
Our love is free now
And so we have our wings
Loving together in Death's immortal Spring
Author notes
Pic 3
A contest entry
- Death within a portrait by Sorath.
850 points, ended September 14, 2007, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - *** Untitled Contest *** by Hebz.
425 points, ended September 21, 2007, 74 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Brilliant
Just an outstanding piece...
Excellent Story...I've been thinking of this lately...
Thnx for entering & Best of Luck
& u seem lucky ;]
GloriousGift
Heba -
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Thank you very much! ^_^
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beautiful.
Though romance/dark poems have lately become vastly overdone, I really enjoyed this one. You imagery was beautiful, and very tragic. I loved the snippets of the lovers' notes you added into the piece, I think it gave it a very personal touch. However, I think some of the rhyming seemed a little forced. Maybe you should try some freeverse?
Other than that though, I totally loved this poem. Amzing job, please keep writing!
<3.
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Thank you. I don't force rhyme it comes out that way most of the time.
I write what I write and I don't go by what people read or anything. I do try to make it personal...all of my poems are personal in some way. 
Thanks for noting that.
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This poem is absolutely amazing. It really got to me and touched me, somewhere where im rarely touched, my heart. There were some lines which meant something to me "We wrote each other a reminder note" and
"My note read "I promise you
I'll live fully, no matter what I go through
In Death we shall be together"
Good use of the title. Well done.
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Thank you!
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Wow this is great work. Really depressing though, this is the first piece I've ever read that actually made me cry. Well done for that. It kinda reminds me of some chain mail I got ages ago, I'm not accusing you of anything. But if that inspired you as well as the pic good work also, some good has to come outta chain mail! Just one grammatical error though. 'And on it your wrote" We'll never part"'. Should that be a you? Other than that great work!
Good Luck! -
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Thank You!!
yeah it should be a you...haha thanks...I was typing fast. >.> <.<
Oh and what chain mail?? I don't remember reading anything like it but I'd like to find out!
lol
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Awwwww so beautiful and very touching here, one of your best for me, just so heartfelt and deep, the love, burning for each other, oh it will never die, it will always be there inside...
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