I dissolve with the winds of time
Awaiting your return
Scarlet memories flicker like the light of day
Through tear filled eyes
My loss is my heart that lived within you
I Sat beside you in this field of matrimony
But now you are gone
Shattering my reality that floats away
Like wilted rose petals
Broken Crimson flesh
I imagine the heavens, comforting me
Floating freely around me
As it speaks softly of my pain
To me and only me
For you are not with me
I am alone
Solitude soothes my thoughts
Relives the feelings of absence
Absence of mind, absence of emotion
That has splintered my soul
Fractured my reality
No more can I hold these feelings together
Broken and forgotten
I plead for your return
So I will become whole
Once again
Author notes
This was a clear picture AS soon as I saw it. Great contest.
A contest entry
- Pic Inspired by Soulful Woman.
1000 points, ended September 14, 2007, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Capture Me With Your Title by Dark Whispers.
421 points, ended September 25, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
-
I loved this picture and thought that you captivated the prompt distinctly. I would have thought you would have gotten mor then an HM for this. But at least you were recognized! Congrats!
-
-
its cool - I did too but its the writing not the awards. If I can make someone feel something I have done what I needed. Thanks again - I'll see ya at your poetry soon
-
-
" My loss is my heart that lived within you "
awww that line is so sad.
" I imagine the heavens, comforting me
Floating freely around me
As it speaks softly of my pain
To me and only me
For you are not with me
I am alone ".
Now this part made me cry, just a bit
Your ending is amazing,
this is some wonderful writing.
I enjoyed alot.
loveandblessings2u & yours always
joyce
-
-
Thank U - I wanted to relate almost everthing written to the picture. The broken, shattered, floating away, make me whole. everything so the picture would begin to speak. This is one of favorites because I played with the picture and it worked. I think.
-
-
I'm not a big fan ...
of free verse, but this is very good. I'd change the "but" to "and" in the first line of the last stanza, but that's the only thing I see in this that would benefit from a change. I'd say you've done an excellent job on a difficult subject.
-
-
Thanks so much. I made the changes and its great to have a critical eye to see things beyond the comfort of ones own pen. I appreciate your time.
-
-
i would like to thank you for sharing this wonderful write with me and to congratulate you on the honorable mention. viyanna rosemarie
-
This is the very best poem I've read today. Your imagery is phenomenal, and the flow and rhythm- wonderful. I particularly love the image...Broken Crimson flesh...mmmm...sensual and visceral at the same moment...just one tiny question, in line 5: did you mean it to read 'my loss is my heart', or perhaps, 'lost is my heart'?...this is the only thing that made me stumble...the rest of this is fluid and lovely, like a draught of red wine...delicious...Peace, Rhonda
-
-
Great catch and thank you so much for the excellent comment. I do like red wine. I wrote a poem about it (a bold Cab
. LOL!!! Thank you 
-
-
wow that was some deep stuf and I really don't like break up lovey dovey poem but yours was really good, great write
-
-
Thanks - I write a little off when it comes to lovey dovey. They are so typical. ~ MyKey
-
-
Well done!
Must have been some awesome entries, if this is HM!
Write on!
*PEACE*
-
-
They were good. My imagery and word play was better. But its the preference of the judge. I respect that. Thanks for the comment ~ cheers ~MyKey
-
-
My-key, Very sad and still filled with the beauty of your pen. Your emotions covered the page and left my heart with such a lilt of sadness, yet still a feeling of hope based on faith. A wonderful free verse that captured the essence of the picture wonderfully. Congratulations on the award and keep that ink flowing. I have found yet another favorite to add to my list. Thank you for sharing in your gift. Love and God bless, Joyce
-
Excellent
Oh my this was terrific. And congrats on your honorable mention.
-
Such an amazing piece. Love it...love it.
-
This is an amazing take on the prompt, heartbreaking. Loved "Solitude soothes my thoughts
But relives the feelings of absence
Absence of mind, absence of emotion
That has splintered my soul". Wow! Best of luck in the contest!
-
-
Thanks so much, this was an amazing picture and all I thought about was the pieces of her floating away and i had to make it happen. It was a free thought ~ thanks again
-
-
romantic finger tips here babe i like this a whole lot you expressed some deep feelings in this write I was very impressed
Mrs. lady Enthralling
-
-
It just comes, so it flows pretty cool for me. Thats my natural vibe. Thanks my Lady, I appreciate the love.
MyKeeee
-
-
Oh you pen pain with such beauty yours
words make yo uforget all about the pic
in live in the pain of the moment
tears flow freely lovely write poetic.
-
-
**blushing**
Thank U. I wanted to dissect then let the emotions
fly off the screen. Lovely comments thank you
MyKeeee
-
-
I am so glad the picture inspired such beautiful penning.
Thank you for your entry and good luck.
Soulful Woman -
-
Thank U - it is a marvelous photo
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 24 of 24
