Everything so familiar
two shadows sharing time
a fearless new beginning
though you know my hearts not mine.
My northern star
blind my crushing past
carry me far
remind me how true love last
Say you'll stop time
final frames fading fast
childhood dreams sacrificed
fairytale endings never last
My northern star
blind my crushing past
carry me far
remind me how true love last
Subsurface scars
are the slowest to heal
messages lost in bottles
words you'll never here
My northern star
blind my crushing past
carry me far
remind me how true love last
Everything so familiar
My northern star
Say you'll stop time
for subsurface scars
Author notes
I like to bite
Theres a story behind this if you want to here it just let me know
A contest entry
- //Crashing Stars Combusting with [Dramatic Entrances.] by They Say Shannon.
1600 points, ended September 17, 2007, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Almost anything goes!! O_O by vampireblood.
400 points, ended October 22, 2007, 29 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love! by warrior-eagle.
600 points, ended October 15, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This was a really good piece. I enjoyed reading it. My favorite lines were
"Subsurface scars
are the slowest to heal
messages lost in bottles
words you'll never here."
But I do think you meant hear instead of here. Otherwise I liked this alot. It flowed very well. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in my contest. =]
~Vampy~
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I def want to hear that story.But the poem itself was great.
...Simply Me♥ -
Congrats on the silver trophy this was a lovely piece. If you don't mind me asking what inspired this?
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I know this reply is way late but love writing songs so one night I was thinking about the stupid guy that broke my heart and how this new guy came along and I felt ready to let him get closer so I was thinking about all of that and I looked up and saw the northern star. The northern star was used to guide you to safety and provide you with something better. So this new boy became my northern star that blinded and helped my past not hurt me so much
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"though you know my hearts not mine."
heart's*
I liked that line a lot though.
"remind me how true love last"
Should it be lasts?
"Say you'll stop time final frames fading fast childhood dreams sacrificed fairytale endings never last"
I loved all the metaphors that were used in this stanza!
"messages lost in bottles words you'll never here"
I also really liked the meaning behind that. :] The repetitiveness sort of worked in this piece. I enjoyed it though, nice job.
Good luck in the contest! <3
And yeah, I'd like to know the story. :] -
"though you know my hearts not mine."
heart's*
I liked that line a lot though.
"remind me how true love last"
Should it be lasts?
"Say you'll stop time
final frames fading fast
childhood dreams sacrificed
fairytale endings never last"
I loved all the metaphors that were used in this stanza!
"messages lost in bottles
words you'll never here"
I also really liked the meaning behind that. :]
The repetitiveness sort of worked in this piece.
I enjoyed it though, nice job.
Good luck in the contest! And yeah, I'd like to know the story. :]
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