She's screaming at me,
I'm crying inside,
the tears subside,
and the accusations echoe;
She's inside my mind.
I wake up and it's still there,
another problem today,
where is this coming from?
I'm falling apart,
The laughter and hugs couldn't help keep the monster away.
I keep turning around,
Thinking she's there,
but the screaming's coming from inside.
You FUCK UP,
Stupid, ugly, fat FUCK UP
You couldn't even keep this right.
Author notes
I don't remember exactly when I wrote this, but I can assume sometime in the later half of 2006. I found it today on a scrap of paper, as I often do, while cleaning. It's not very good or anything but I didn't want to throw it out, so I'm keeping it on here until I catch up on my book.
This poem attempted to explain how I felt when my depression came back. After I was hospitalized and everything came out, I felt relieved to not have to hide everything anymore and then soon became a very happy person. Then suddenly, I started to go through the same feelings of loneliness, desperation, uselessness and anger. I couldn't figure it out and I couldn't escape it because it was a part of me. I was so frustrated because everything seemed okay, and I had so much support, but I couldn't keep up the happiness.
I'm doing alright now, but I won't jinx myself by talking about it anymore.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I like that poem because many people are like that and am glad you are through with it.
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