Let me tear out your heart and attach it to machines
So I can see it thunder when I take off my clothes...
Let me rip out my teeth and let you return them
So I can show you the trust and dedication I have...
Let me cut off your skin and wear it upon mine
So I can be closer to you than anyone could...
Let me hollow your feet and dress them on my hands
So I can feel what it's like to be underneath you...
Let me graze you upon my brain and eyes
So you may know everything that I can feel...
Let me eat your lungs and caress them clean
So I can feel satisfied when I kiss you...
Author notes
Yet another non rhyming poem ¬_¬
A contest entry
- Darkest Erotic by poeticcaresses.
600 points, ended October 15, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Ummm... well, I did say DARK erotic, lol. This one scared even me. Well written, very dark. Thanks for entering!
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DISTURBING much, yet i loved the way you thought about it. its great. ah. great write.
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Disturbing yet, touching
I too felt a little disturbed (what a thrill to feel it instead of inspiring it)but, I completely understand the sentiment behind the words.
I have only felt one time what it would be like to want to be so close to someone that you never want to be apart from them. Ironically, I had to be away from them to realize it.
I love the blackness of the love you are expressing in this. I would dare call this a gothic love poem. You are in awesome form here.
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this disturbed me the first time i read it,
but then on the second, i see a deeper affection
and though drastic, you show how committed you are to a certain someone and the yearn to be shown love in return.
i apologise for leaving you, but i'll most likely be on here more often since i have creative writing class. it would be wonderful to hear from you again.
=]
~WU -
hmmm...... you had me like saying ewe at the beginning but you added hidious with sensual and sexual and for the record i must say that you honestly did a great job at penning this write
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