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a Sister's Betrayal

Present Day

THe road seemed endless as they turned left than right. She tried her best to keep up with all the turns but her head was foggy. "I think I've been druged," Karina thought as she drifted back into the darkness of unconsciousness...

Two Weeks Earlier

KArina was only seventeen, her life not quite planned out yet although she did have an idea of what she wanted out of life and Karina always got what she wanted. I guess her beauty and the unconditional prase from her parents had something to do with her ideal that the world was created so others could behold her beauty! Karina didn't know what the word "share" meant.

KArina's little sister Cortney, knew very well that she came second. Cortney was always in her sister's shadow. It was a lonely, dark place at times but, sometimes Cortney was glad to be invisible. When Cortney was left alone at least she didn't have to hear about how "great" Karina was. How beautiful her long dark curls were (compared to Cortney's short red kinky curls), yes it was nice to be alone.

COrtney didn't need others to tell her how great she was. Cortney knew how to be great all by herself. She would escape to any world she wanted in her large collection of books! Alone in her bedroom, which she painted black ( Karina's room was pink ) of course. Cortney would spend hours escaping to different worlds and being who ever she wanted to be. Cortney would have been happy just as she was only one day everything changed for her.

ON the way home from school that day the gathering clouds promised a storm, which to Cortney was a perfect day for reading a new book. The little book store on the corner was her favorite place to go. She knew that the people who owned - THE WAY OUT book store loved to see her come in. It wasn't easy finding a book she hadn't read yet, but finally she found something. A good mystery! Yeah, that would be good to read on a stormy day like today. Cortney paid for her book and Mrs. Collen said "Thank-you honey and come back again." Cortney always loved the way Mrs. Collen called her "honey" at least someone noticed her.

COrtney left the store with a smile on her face ( that was rare) and began walking home. Before she got around the corner that storm decided it couldn't wait any longer. The sky opened up and the rain begain pouring down. Cortney couldn't see where she was going and she walked ( well, crashed was more like it ) into someone who was trying to run to shelter. Cortney's book went flying out of her hand. She tried to grab for it but missed. The puddle of water it was meant to land in was cheated out of it's prize.

SCotty, that's the hero's name ( at least that's what he became to Cortney ) caught the book as he went falling to the ground. Cortney looked down at this heroic boy as he was standing up with mud all over him, the book safe in his arms and a hug smile on his face! "I believe this belongs to you my lady" he said. As Cortney looked into his green eyes, the greenest eyes she had ever seen, she knew this was someone she would gladly invite into her ( I don't need anyone) world. Cortney knew she had found her soul-mate!

EVery day after that they would meet at that same corner and share each other's company reading a book and escaping to whatever world there. One day when Cortney was rushing off to meet Scotty for their daily escape together she never realized she was being followed. Karina could not understand why her sister seemed so happy lately. "What does she have that is putting that stupid grin on her face?" "Whatever it is I'm sure it was suppose to belong to me," pouted Karina.

WHen she seen Cortney turn the corner, Karina went behind an old oak tree and watched as the most handsome boy she had ever laid eye's on came right up to her sister and they took hands as they sat down together on the curb. "I can't believe it! What is he doing with her?" Karina couldn't believe he would choose to be with her if he knew she was available. So naturaly Karina walked right over to them.
"Hi Cortney," she said in the sweetess voice.
"What a surprise to see you here"
Cortney didn't know what to say but before she could say anything Scotty had stood up to face Karina and the look on his face said everything. Cortney knew without a doubt that he would never belong just to her again.
"I was just going to the mall to hand out and maybe get some ice cream"
"Why don't you and your friend here come along?"
Cortney had never been invited by her sister to go anywhere! Well, she wasn't going to go with her now and share her friend. Besides she knew Karina didn't really want to be with her. Cortney said very weakly that she and Scotty would rather stay and finish their book they were in the middle of. Before she could barely get the words out, Scotty said, "Well Cort the book can wait until later, couldn't it?"
Cortney felt her heart breaking as she said, "I guess it can." Karina smiled sweetly, batted her long lashes and flipping her dark curls as she started walking away with Cortney's hero. Cortney ran home to her black lonely room and cried the first and last tears she would ever cry - and plan her revenge...

Present Day

KArina slowly began to wake up. It was so dark she couldn't see her hand in front of her face. As the haze of the drug (which her sister gave her) began to ware off Karina began to feel terrible pain! Slowly she reached up and touched her face. Karina couldn't seem to understand why her face felt so funny. All at once a light shone britely in her face and at first she couldn't see what was right in front of her. Then as her eye's adjusted to the light Karina saw the mirrors and what she seen made her scream the most horrible sound, that no one else but her would hear. The mirror's showed the most hedious face; caused by the acid that was poured so happyly on her. At the bottom of the mirror was written two words, in bright pink:
"LOVE CORTNEY"

VEry pleased with herself Cortney sat in her dark lonely room and deep down inside herself she laughed like the insane. She would never read another book cause from now on she was going to be writing her own!

THE END

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • Meej
    September 22, 2008

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    whoa this is dark and scared the bejesus out of me..i was like no no no, why does she have to go evil and destroy her sisters face. That's horrible. Even though her sister is such a biarch to her, you know that it's going to do harm to courtney for the rest of her life. I was thinking this is such a bad bad story, but actually you are such a fantastic writer that you pull the reader right into the heart of the story and get a knee jerk reaction from them with your ending. Great work. Keep up the short stories.


    • darlintlc silver member
      September 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading my short story "A Sister's Betrayal" I grew up with 4 sister's and I'm sure we all felt like hurting each other at one time or the other! Anyway we never did anything this terrible to each other but maybe in our dreams! LOL

      This story was accually wrote because I have two nieces who are different as night and day...it's funny how things can change though...cause the one that was bad grew up to be one of the sweetess careing young lady and the other one is the one that is more self-centered! OH WELL!!

      Thanks for reading and I'll try to have a look at your work soon as I can!!

      darlintlc


  • enitsirhC
    June 22, 2008

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    I couldn't even stop reading it!
    This is really good!

    You have a wonderful talent

    Keep up the good work

    I'd love to read more from you in the future!



  • xXuRdhUrXx
    June 20, 2008

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    i liked this part

    KArina slowly began to wake up. It was so dark she couldn't see her hand in front of her face. As the haze of the drug (which her sister gave her) began to ware off Karina began to feel terrible pain! Slowly she reached up and touched her face. Karina couldn't seem to understand why her face felt so funny. All at once a light shone britely in her face and at first she couldn't see what was right in front of her. Then as her eye's adjusted to the light Karina saw the mirrors and what she seen made her scream the most horrible sound, that no one else but her would hear. The mirror's showed the most hedious face; caused by the acid that was poured so happyly on her. At the bottom of the mirror was written two words, in bright pink:
    "LOVE CORTNEY"


    • darlintlc silver member
      June 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Yeah I liked the ending also!!!

      Thanks for commenting!
      darlintlc


  • Dorick
    June 20, 2008

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    Peperoni pizza, orange juice, seiko kinetic time, rubber studded sanding belt, the grim reaper, remote control to my heart, and yes, the target that happens to be very far away.

    Sorry, I though this was a poem, when I realized it wasn't I still felt the neccesity to comment, though I wasn't sure what to say...


  • Jade.Butterfly gold member
    June 9, 2008

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    Wow, I couldn't stop reading it..I wanna know more..
    What happens to Karina? Does she get her revenge?
    Does Cortney get Scotty back? Does Karina get plastic surgery to fix her face?
    Wow i wanna know so many things.
    I was so deeply into this story i couldn't move ..PLease don't stop writting about this i got to know more about what happens between the two of them..
    Simply Interesting..MOving..Mezmorizing..
    I LOVED IT!


  • TwilightAngel026
    June 3, 2008
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    Yeah, I am also interested to see what became of these two girls. I can't help checking back to see if you've changed or added anything!


  • Dragonbabyx3
    May 29, 2008

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    This Story kept me hooked until the very end. I loved it! The Betrayl and the payback. Beautiful! The only thing I think you need to fix are the spelling and grammatical errors. Other than that.. maybe writing a sequel to tell what became of Karina and Cortney! I am interested to know!

    • darlintlc silver member
      May 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much!! I'm glad you enjoyed my short story "A Sister's Betrayal" one day I will get back to it and fix what needs fixing! ha! Hadn't thought of writing a sequel but it could be interesting!

      Thanks again
      darlintlc


  • CharcoalScreams
    May 27, 2008

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    Oh my... how meanly beautiful. You had me captivated from the very first word.. Well maybe first sentence.. And let me tell you, my attention span isn't very long but you mastered it! Great job, good luck in the contest (this is gold trophy material)

    Sammie xxx

    • darlintlc silver member
      May 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for commenting on "A Sister's Betrayal" I've been thinking about deleting it cause it's one of my first tries at a short story and there are alot of mistakes in it that I would like to fix! I did have fun writing it though..with a evil grin on my face knowing that Cortney would get even with Karina! lol

      This story was inspired by two niece's I have who are like night and day...love them both!

      Thanks again and I will come by to check out your work!
      darlintlc

  • TwilightAngel026
    May 25, 2008

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    Aside from the small stuff you said you wanted to fix, I really liked this story. It was dark and twisted, but you kinda gave the ending away a little early.

    "As the haze of the drug (which her sister gave her) began to ware off Karina began to feel terrible pain! " You said then, that her sister was the one who did it.

    I think it would've been a bit more scary if you had just let it be revealed at " At the bottom of the mirror was written two words, in bright pink:
    "LOVE CORTNEY" " .... Then again, I'm the girl who used to read R.L. Stein. So I guess I shouldn't say much. But for the most part, I could picture the story as it was happening. It was a really good "first-try" at a short story. You have a gift, and I hope you keep at it! Great job!

    • darlintlc silver member
      May 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much for reading my story "a Sister's Betrayal"
      and for the very useful comment...you were right I did give it away in the beginning! I don't know what I was thinking! Duh!! One day I will try my hand at another short story but I still have one that I've been meaning to finish for awhile now..."Locked Up" I think it could be a great story if I could get back to it! ha!

      Thanks again,you were a big help!
      darlintlc


  • Ms-Mouse
    May 1, 2008

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    Nice story. Well done. You need to put this in a spell check and correct some of the words and grammar though. I'm assuming you're young, but it's good for early days.

    • darlintlc silver member
      May 1, 2008
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      Thanks for your comments on "A Sister's Betrayal"
      I'm not young in age but young in heart. ha! ha!

      This was one of my first attempts at writing a short story...it needs some fine tuning I know.

      Thanks again


  • weallhaveissues
    April 29, 2008
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    I think it was good. I like the plot but it could have been written a little better. The end could have been more descriptive about her face and about Cortney. I think it is good though and could be better if you would just edit it better and change a few things.

    • darlintlc silver member
      April 30, 2008
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      Thanks for your comment on "A Sister's Betrayal" it was my first attempt at writing a short story. There is alot of editing that could be done.

      Thanks again


  • Radiant-Beauty
    April 27, 2008

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    wow this is really different i don't know is i like it or not i'm sitting on a rather pointy fence.
    good luck in the contest though


  • MotherMachineGunn
    September 16, 2007

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    Wonderfully twisted tale. A spectacular revenge on the beloved sister. A few grammatical errors in this one though. Thank you for taking the time to enter and bet of luck to you in the contest.

    ~MotherMachineGunn~

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