Pierced.
My breath is hindered
and before me stands
the man who haunts
my nightmares.
His voice is low
he growls only taunts
my chest goes numb
and his voice sounds
merely like an echo.
Pierced.
That's all that I can think
the pain growing and numbing
all at the same time.
I notice my body is hunched
I feel empty
and for the first moment
in what seems like many
I gather courage to look down.
The long silvered blade reflects
my blank and frozen face,
I notice a cool tear slide
down my cheek to splash on
the reddened sword.
What can I do?
He stares with
hungry eyes,
wicked grin,
cold heart.
Cold.
All I feel is cold,
starting from the
cruel and ice cold sword
slowly poisoning my bloodstream
resting at my fingers.
I move my deadened hands
and place them on the hilt,
I have to remove this
but my strength is draining
through my wound.
Why?
My lips move,
but it does not sound
like my voice
once strong
now barely a whisper.
A dark, melodious laugh
is the only answer.
My legs give way
I stumble backwards,
my robes flowing as I fall.
His malicious eyes
closely watch
as I take
my final
Breath.
The long silvered blade reflects
my blank and frozen face.
Author notes
Eh, I don't know how I feel about this yet.
For an awesome contest. I love trying to write from images, I'm just hoping this works.
A contest entry
- Second Image by PhoenixFox.
700 points, ended September 12, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please, help me improve on any spots my writing is weak in.
Comments
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awesome
That was most defiantly original.
Really amazing imagery and not to sound like a high school english teacher but you do a great job with the whole 'show dont tell' concept.
Rock on. -
Hello and thank you for your entry in the contest
I'm glad you found the image inspiring enough to prompt your muse into action here. I also like how you poured your heart into this - and it shows. A little over-long for me (I tend to go for short, sharp reads)
but nontheless you have certainly captured the essence of the image which is what was asked of you.
On the whole, this is quite a strong piece of writing, particularly as I find that the emotion comes through more strongly in many ways than it would if it were more blatantly displayed in the actual stone of the image. There are some good visuals, and I thought the use of the singular words between stanzas was a clever touch. Pain and suffering give a very poignant duality to everything, and the final words reflect the betrayal as if she could no longer fight and the inevitable took its course.
Best wishes and thank you for sharing this ~ fox
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Thank you so much for your comment on this! (I wasn't really expecting it haha.) I was really nervous about the direction of the imagery since the sculpture is in ecstasy and not in pain of any sort.
Thank you again.
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