In the space below, please describe any psychological abnormalties, fears, paranoia, or other concerns you may have about your mental health:
I wake up and I see her
She follows me around all day
We have long conversations while I work
I hear her voice instead of reality
She whispers wisdom when I'm in doubt
Sometimes, she even makes my decisions for me
I hear her singing when it rains
I see her shadow around every corner
I hear her curse at me when I bother her
I feel her hit me when I'm wrong
I've seen her eyes in the stars
She comandeers my dreams
I'm always afraid she'll leave
She joins me when I pray
When I think of her,
My heart rate triples (That's dangerous isn't it?)
She always makes me nervous,
And I choke on my words
Sometimes I think she hates me
But loves me at the same time
I yell at people who talk over her
One time, I just stared at her for a long time
Without saying anything
She controls my moods
She determines my future
I sulk when she's gone
She gives me happy pills when I'm down
And I take them laughing,
Drinking stuff she bought me with her ID
One time, the cops arrested me
For starting a big fire
I told them SHE did it
That's when they told me I was crazy
And now I'm here
And they are all laughing at me
But I'm laughing too,
Because she's laughing,
But apparently, they can't hear her...
Author notes
The happy pills and drinking at JUST metaphors mind you...
if you liked this one, I recently wrote a part two, and then a part three with a dramatic ending...
A contest entry
- Cheer Up a Depressed Girl by Oleander.
630 points, ended December 14, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Wow, i'm impressed. I love how you seemed to make it a psychology thing. You were a lot more clear here than you usually are in your poems, so it doesn't let the reader come to their own conclusions, but it's so descriptive. I don't know, for some reason the word "intoxicating" keeps coming to mind as a description, but i have no idea what in your poem makes it that way. maybe it's the illusion to pills and whatnot that brings it to mind..............
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Superb/Imaginative/Intriguing
A most unique and creative write indeed. Almost like a trip down fantasy lane, as long as, one returns from the fantasy. Well done indeed.
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ok, this was not what i thought it would be....IT WAS SO MUCH BETTER!!!! ahhhh, this was freakin' awesome!!! this was a great poem about how someone gets in your mind, and can totally influence you...and hey, who says the person has to be real....lol.(but then again it could be about someone real...but how would i know? i'm not you...)
i like the part about the fire....hehehe, i have to try that one sometime....lol.
great ending too, i was really suprised. but hey that just made it even better!!
awesome poem, keep writing..!
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! this is HILARIOUS!!!! voices, maybe??? i see why your buddy blue skies likes it!
really now... this is one of the best poems you have written... the thoughts are all there and it reads so smoothly... from one thought to the next... i hope that liking this poem doesn't categorize me as crazy...hmmmm....
now... as for me describing any mental issues i may have... please remember, cowboy, that YOU are the one who wrote the poem... MY paranoid issues shall only be written (using an ancient tribal code, mind you) in a secret notebook in which i separate the pages and keep in different closets and drawers of the house... incase anyone may find them and read my inner most secret thoughts after years of deciphering the code...
so, as you see... i have no type of concerns at all about my mental well being...
but i appreciate you asking.... wait... did YOU ask... or am i hearing her voice too???? nnnnaaaaaaaaw... that would be ridiculous.... wouldn't it???? of course it would be.... the one i hear has a male voice!!!!
hahaha... and now as crazy as that is.... i'm laughing, too.....and so is he.... but no one else can hear him...
GOSH... i HAVE completely lost it!
millions of clappies from me.... and a few thousand from him.... wait a minute... only a few thousand???
(ya.... you are way too generous giving a million...)
no i'm not...
(yes you are....)
ok.. now i'm done... i think i need to go commit myself somewhere... who else but a crazy person would leave such a stupid comment????
GREAT POEM!
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you know, I think we'd get along well together
LOL
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...if you think that after reading my comment... then you really ARE crazy!
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ha!!!!!!!!!!! you just made that a million times better... or maybe more.. thats awesome... a perfect intro!!!
i wish i wrote this!!
so.. i thought of "let it be" with the whisper wisdom part...
and i like the "heartrate" part..
but mostly i love the "completeness" of this... you thought of everything... and it is kind of wandering.. like you are a little crazy...
nice
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lol...funny, I thought of that song too...I like being crazy it's fun...thanks for the comment!
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