Conversations spilled as booze
from your liquor store mouth
that was labeled with hatred,
served chilled and poured
into glass bottles of deception;
Intoxicated fingers wrapped
tightly around neck bottle
as if to choke the voice
that mocked your insecurities,
waved as flag in front
of raging bull-
While life hit brick wall
that was built when
whiskey gods blessed hopes
with liquid eraser,
saturated diary pages
were flushed with each
porcelain promise;
That was broken like
the marriage that
existed when soap opera
flashed on television screen
and portrayed love in
one hour slots of paradise
between sobriety and dreams
A contest entry
- The POW by Arkbear.
500 points, ended September 8, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrite? by Melissa Gayle.
600 points, ended September 23, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything by Norman Crabtree.
390 points, ended December 23, 2007, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Addiction and Co-Dependance by piccola.
900 points, ended January 28, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
That was broken like
the marriage that
existed when soap opera
flashed on television screen
and portrayed love in
one hour slots of paradise
between sobriety and dreams
That is sooo poetic and reaches the heart of the matter.
thank you for entering -
An Excellent Poem
This is an excellent poem and piece of writing. Your words drew me in and there is so much to admire in your words. I felt the emotional depth in your poem and that is so difficult to do well, but you have done this with great style. Many congratulations on your gold trophy it's thoroughly well deserved. All my very best wishes from Rose xxx
-
Found no technical faults; thought the piece was great (as usual...when the hell are you gonna write crap so I can point and laugh at you?).
I-Araxie-I
-
Just wanted to say 'congratulations!' and tell you this is fantastic in its wording and images. Very well done. Enjoyable to read.
Congrats again!
-
Very nicely done to garner the Gold in POW contest. An excellent entry indeed. Keep up the excellent work...Scott
-
Whoa ~
All I can say right off...is your first two stanzas are HOT!!
...and.....each stanza has some incredible power in them ~
This is by far the best read thus far ~
I hope every Poet gets a chance to read this ~
I do wish you had used a few more punc.'s to slow the reader down a bit....
......as this is such a powerful write, and I would want them to catch every line ~
As an Ex-Drunk...still sober Alcoholic...this blew me away ~
The best to you ~
Bear ~
Title 10
Flow 9.9
Depth 9.9Theme 10
Feelings 10
Grammar 10
Presentation 9.8
Uncommonness 9.9
Sit & Ponder Affect 9.9
Ability to follow Rules 10
Bears Score: 99.4 -
Wow,
A very powerful piece here with great vivid imagery, I wish you all the best within this contest, and please keep on penning on! What a potent poem indeed!
Peace, Timothy
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
