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Pretty Dolls World

 

 

Perfecting imitations of ruby lies

With gleaming teeth sharp as ice.

Manic glee coursing through my eyes

Wounds falling from within my body.

 

Poisoned ashes surrounding my body

Glistening tears haunt my face.

Untold horrors I remember seeing

as dead roses entice my fate.

 

Eyes bright and souls shut tight

Numbing the crushing pain inside.

My pretty dolls world is set alight

And my crystal death begins to beckon.

 

My heart collapses as my spirit breaks free

From the confines of this hollowed earth.

My twilight perfection escapes and I see,

That my stinging blood weighs more than my perfect beauty.   


 

Author notes

Ravenblood - My home is in Victoria, I currently reside in Tasmania.
I have released my inner anguish on "08/09/07" at "00:19".

image from: http://archives.imaginginfo.com/article/photos/1130028748452_HENSEL-Sanders-Eyes.jpg

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • Uniquely-Scarred
    August 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow really dar i like it a lot


  • Noir mariposa...x gold member
    June 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow.

    That's all I can really say about this.

    Wow.

    Simply breath taking ^^
    I can't find a single flaw any where
    Claire x


  • green20goblin
    April 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow sent shiver up my spine,awesome poem


  • Xxdeath-is-bilssxX
    March 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    i love it

    its perfect
    love readnig your poems


    forever jade


  • ShInE45DoWn
    December 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This is probably one of the most powerfully descriptive poems I've read in a long time. You certainly have a way with words.
    ♥shinE*


    • Ravenblood
      December 16, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Oh. thank you very much.. Try "no Better dead than alive" it's one of my favourites...


  • Vera Jewel
    November 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    It's very dark.. beautiful poem.
    You have lots of talent, hun.
    Keep writing..

    ~VJ

    • Ravenblood
      November 24, 2007

      Edit | Reply
      Umm. thank you!!!

      And i'm your hun!!! yay. im gonna regret this comment in the morning coz im drunked,. lmao. luffles you thoughg and thanks for the comment. mUAH

      Claire-Anne


      • Vera Jewel
        November 24, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        Lmao.. Well hope ya had a good time, luffles ya right back hun.
        ^_^


        • Ravenblood
          November 24, 2007
          Edit | Reply
          Yewp. i had a good time.. btw. who ar yu? who are you.. i mean?


          • Vera Jewel
            November 24, 2007
            Edit | Reply
            Sorry, I'm Vera just an innocent poetry surfer.
            I can't even remember how I ended up reading this poem..


  • Dmonik
    October 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a truly powerful and excellant write.
    It's dark, yet hopeful, particularly the final line, which to me, sums up everything. Wonderful writing Raven!


  • green20goblin
    October 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    thats just great well done


  • PastelMoons gold member
    October 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I just had to read it again!!!

  • PastelMoons gold member
    October 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love it!!
    congrats on the hm
    and hunni this is a incredible write!
    I am always impressed with you.
    Love your talent
    Love you!!
    ~Pastel


  • Tarja
    October 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh woah... well where do I begin?! First... congrats on the honorable mention trophy. Though I gotta say I think this deserves at least bronze!!! The rhyme... the rhythm... the imagery... it was all excellent! LOVED LOVED LOVED IT! Nothing negative from me.


  • green20goblin
    October 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow ,pain really shines thru well done

  • near1202apocalypse
    October 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    fabulous

    The is a really good poem filled with emotion and anguish. really good!


  • Dovina
    September 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this was a very well written piece. I can't very well pick out a favorite part, for if I did, it would just seem wrong. A very strong emotion of anguish is felt. keep it up


  • Girl With Guitar silver member
    September 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Untold horrors I remember seeing"
    Baby, all of these lines are just simply amazing. You know I love you, and this stuff hurts my heart but it also makes me so darn proud because you're so talented. Just stay safe, writing is always a good release, even for the unknown!!

    And I'm stealing the background.

    Bandaid.

  • PastelMoons gold member
    September 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I absolutely love this!
    your metaphors are brilliant
    and the ambiance is hauntingly sad,
    beautifully dark, and darkly beautiful!
    Good luck in the contest!
    ~Pastel


  • Lady Australis silver member
    September 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    oh baby...
    this is so good yet so sad
    i hope you ok
    you've done so well
    love you

1 - 23 of 23