What if our world's badness was removed,
Would it be strained, stressed and confused ?
The liars would speak and truth would be told
It would be noted, its awful to get old,
Policeman would not need, to use their cuffs
The courts and judiciary, would become dust.
But, nothing would happen, would it be dull ?
Would we get bored right out of our skulls ?
Life needs some badness as well as the good,
Man needs to play just like he eats food.
So hold out your hands, yet do not smother,
Do as ye will but do no harm to each other
07/09/07
Author notes
The poem was just about random thoughts on the world, Tv and the rest, that combined and ended up with part of the wiccan rede weird how thoughts run and evolve ( i write in English not American)
The picture is from deviant art
Idiot Box by ~CurvaciousP
A contest entry
- Food for the Famished Mind (NEED MORE ENTRIES!- ENTER!) by Shahrazad.
900 points, ended September 12, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Great thoughts, some not far of, I think we would be bored. Good luck!
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btw- I loved the picture... deviantart has so much talent posting on it
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Wonderful! Just the sort of thoughts I was looking forward to reading in this contest. I definately agree with you on all of this as well.
The only slight thing I will mention is your punctuation particularily in the first stanza. I did read in your AN that you write in English and not American... and I do know there are differences in punctuation, however I'm not quite sure if it is this different. I don't mean to be a grammar nazi but it was just difficult for me to get the meaning without a couple reads because of it...
Correct me if I'm wrong but shouldn't it be...
"What if our world's badness was removed,
Would it be strained, stressed and confused?"
rather than
"What if our worlds badness was removed ?
Would it be strained, stressed and confused,"
Man I do sound like a grammar nazi... *sigh* oh well
I really did like this poem a lot. Thank you for entering it
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no your right about the grammar and ive now changed it .. im glad you liked it
thanks
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What an fantastic write and so very true. Good luck in the contest hun.


1 - 5 of 5





