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"Delving Outside the Box"

Missing image




What if our world's badness was removed,
Would it be strained, stressed and confused ?

The liars would speak and truth would be told
It would be noted, its awful to get old,

Policeman would not need, to use their cuffs
The courts and judiciary, would become dust.


But, nothing would happen, would it be dull ?
Would we get bored right out of our skulls ?

Life needs some badness as well as the good,
Man needs to play just like he eats food.

So hold out your hands, yet do not smother,
Do as ye will but do no harm to each other 

07/09/07



Author notes

The poem was just about random thoughts on the world, Tv and the rest, that combined and ended up with part of the wiccan rede weird how thoughts run and evolve ( i write in English not American)

The picture is from deviant art
Idiot Box by ~CurvaciousP

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • LadyDementia gold member
    September 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Great thoughts, some not far of, I think we would be bored. Good luck!


  • Shahrazad
    September 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    btw- I loved the picture... deviantart has so much talent posting on it

  • Shahrazad
    September 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful! Just the sort of thoughts I was looking forward to reading in this contest. I definately agree with you on all of this as well.

    The only slight thing I will mention is your punctuation particularily in the first stanza. I did read in your AN that you write in English and not American... and I do know there are differences in punctuation, however I'm not quite sure if it is this different. I don't mean to be a grammar nazi but it was just difficult for me to get the meaning without a couple reads because of it...

    Correct me if I'm wrong but shouldn't it be...
    "What if our world's badness was removed,
    Would it be strained, stressed and confused?"

    rather than
    "What if our worlds badness was removed ?
    Would it be strained, stressed and confused,"

    Man I do sound like a grammar nazi... *sigh* oh well

    I really did like this poem a lot. Thank you for entering it


    • Zero the Hero silver member
      September 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      no your right about the grammar and ive now changed it .. im glad you liked it thanks


  • Scrunter
    September 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    What an fantastic write and so very true. Good luck in the contest hun.

1 - 5 of 5