Hello there, mirror-eyed seer.
Tell me, do you come freely?
I am still unsure.
Let's not be too fast; I can give you one better,
And it feels nice to have someone who speaks my mind.
Now I feel so close; how do you speak my mind?:
Here.
Are we playing cops and robbers?
If so, then you pull off the costume quite stellar.
Do you shed contour skin or are you a being in character?
Well I have lived under skies that never turn blue.
I can be an artful—
dodger—
too (but only if I have to).
Nevermind all that; I think it is unspeakably cute how you:
Move your hands like feathers,
Sketch out your breathing waterfalls of color,
Scorch my friends and the Suburban Earth with a steady Sunfire stare.
So you came down and brought all your electric, sticky air;
Carried buckets of water and aluminum baskets of flowers.
Oh beautiful gypsy gardener, with my curious, thirsty eyes,
I watched you plant them all in a line, like sacred markers
Now there is a chemical garden and yes, it is right:
Here.
Like those secret worlds I find, you suddenly appeared—
Poured out light and grew a confetti celebration.
The wait was instantly spared.
Scattered that awful weight deep inside your hair—
And yes, it felt good.
Now trees ripe with fruit unfold where we have stood.
Can you sense it? We are free; they are scared,
But that is only because they have never before been:
Here.
If tomorrow is death, then will you disappear?
If today is infinity, then no, I do not care.
I have known you forever, or at least that's what I hear.
We could fill in this whitewashed lifetime
By running circles in our dizzy experience color wheel.
...Or I guess we could go a little slower.
I could meet you at the next station down that line we cross over.
After all, my style is pacing back and forth on a long walk to nowhere.
Proper art, like yesterday, takes some time to admire.
Oh confident, magic gardener; oh mirror-eyed seer,
That reflection is the highest balcony-view I have ever seen:
Here.
A contest entry
- [GUYS ONLY] Impress Me by Sesheta.
630 points, ended March 30, 2008, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Oh. This is a really interesting poem that you have here.
I thought the title was unusual so I decided to come see what it was all about. It was kind of confusing for me to keep up with in a few parts but I did think it was fun to read and I did pick up that it was about how someone had really made a lot of impact on you and your feelings while they had been around. You did a good job of expressing yourself here.
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Well, I am not crazy about the style it is written in. I am not crazy about poems that pose questions like this, and you have a lot of unnecassary stuff in here, but buried beneath that, you have some beautiful imagery.
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i agree that this is very imaginative indeed. i would like to congratulate you on the silver trophy you have earned and to say that i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie
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Very imaginative.
My first impression is of a very discriptive piece about someone trying to tell of how much the other is cared for. Emotionally I can see that person looking into the mirror and practicing just what to say. This is not awkward and I wouldn't change it. The title for me is a little confuseing. The first line sets this up very well and the last line sums up the piece in a good way. My favorite part is the third verse.
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