How often do you notice-
Your shadow?
Is it of great value to you?
If lost,
Would you even notice it was gone?
Shadows on walls,
Don't make noise,
or complain.
constant companions-
Do any of us appreciate
They're being there?
It's only a shadow.
Right?
If the shadows
That follow us where we go,
Mean nothing to us,
As we rarely notice them at all;
Ponder this.
I, am a shadow on the wall.
And I, am not alone.
Author notes
I am not the only shadow on the wall
A contest entry
- Invisible... by elemental angel.
450 points, ended September 10, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
-
9pts...
Thank you for this wonderful contribution to The Poetic Bandits reading list
~Lilac
-
Good questions that stir the imagination and beg for answers. This is a poem to think about, good stuff!
Dennis
-
Haha... I had Peter Pan in mind too, just like Bella
... this is a wonderfully thought-provoking poem... and I really like the way you have structured it... the last lines were my favorite... this is an amazing write
Keep writing
Polly -
Wow, this is really cool poem. It is something I never thought about. You took the quote literally. I like it.
-
Invisible perhaps, but always there, listening, watching . . . This is a fascinating poem, and thought-provoking. How many of us have shadows that we don't even realize are there?
-
This is interesting. I like the questions you ask here. I, personally, would notice my shadows dissappearance. I like to make shapes with my shadow of swans, dogs, etc..
Interesting piece! -
Wow! Very interesting and thought provoking!
Never really gave much thought about shadows but now that I've read something on it, maybe I will
-
A good write. Interesting and thoughtful. Good flow and tone. Good word choice. Good closing lines. Best wishes in the contest.
-
Reminds me of that song Just Me and My Shadow in a way; the two are always together, even when the sun is overhead and they are one.
-
very interesting train of thought, you kept my eyes riveted to the screen. Nicely done, fellow bandit, thank you for sharing
-
Interesting thought my fellow poet. I never really thought much about my shadow before. But I think I will now. You can't have one without the idea I suppose. Great thought provolking piece.
-
Ponder this.
I, am a shadow on the wall.
This was very good,with much meaning. Another of your poems that I've loved. Great job and i'll think of my shadow, no not really, but this actually made me think of a few things. This was good.
...Simply Me♥ -
It is very good I love the quirky ending,
I think a few too many repeated words ie 'that, 'they,
I think you have a great poem tho
-
-
thanx i thought something was off about it and there it was so ive fixed it and i think its much better for it
so thanx again
-
-
This reminds me of Mike Oldfields song Shadow on the Wall! I haven't heard that one in years.
-
very nice
makes you think
-
Wonderfully expressed. Thank you so much for entering my contest and I wish you the best of luck
Bravo
-
Very original in idea and visually strong. Perfect the way you penned it feels like a process. In painting, the shade or darkness is an absence of light not a dark side.. On a positive note i would think they can be challenging and significant. It all depends how you define answers and perceptions in cognitive thoughts. My take. Awesomely written!
-
I LOVE the idea of this and you had the whole thing down perfectly.
Until.
That's right I said until. Here I come again.
When you said:
"Do any of us really appreciate
They're being there?
I mean after all it's just a shadow.
Right.
So now that we've decided
That the shadows,
That follow us where we go
Mean nothing to us
As we rarely notice them at all.
Ponder this.
I, am a shadow on the wall. "
That beginning is where it started to sound like a story instead of a poem. There wasn't really any flow after the part before it and it was a great idea, but you just didn't pull it off here.... I suggest you edit it and add flow. Then you have a great poem.
~Asa of the Poets of POETRY -
-
i was going for free verse so my flow is a bit unnatural but i assure you i did put it in there
thanx for the comment though
-
-
EXCELLENT
Fantastic!, I'll be honest, I didn't really know where this was going, but the ending took me totally by surprise, really impressive,
well done and good luck!
Floorboards.
-
hmmmm...
very cool write you have penned here. I liked the subject matter. I thought that you put to words a very specific subject that many of us might have thought about at one juncture or another. Thank you for sharing. Keep up the great work. Peace and light, Kendal
-
Hmmm, interesting theme. The last line is simply brilliant. =)
It seemed more like prose than poetry to me, especially with the lines:
'I mean after all it's just a shadow.
Right.'
They actually seemed quite unnecessary. And you could add a few commas here and there to get the flow going.
But, yeah. The message is amazing. Shadows... we don't really notice them, do we? =)
All in all, a very interesting and thought provoking piece. I quite enjoyed it. =)
<33 -
"Little shadow on the wall,
Ain't you got no friend at all?"
curious piece of poetry, indeed, yes, indeed, who thinks of their shadow....The shadow knows!!! bravo...
Adding your comment:
1 - 24 of 24
