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henna

 

 

 

 

 

 

i paint my hand
a deep henna
promise

empty

its emptiness
in pointed jabs

 

 

the room is still

in shades
of early evening

windows lit
ruby and rust

 

 

and i

too am adorned  


in some greater beauty

as i lie
on the couch


only resting my eyes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

whenever i run a contest i seem to end up writing a piece that would have been my entry for it... i'm sure that says something about me, i just can't figure out what...lol

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Comments

1 - 31 of 31

  • ardentMarch gold member
    May 6

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    This poem is very moving..it's so simple, but so beautiful...your mood, moment & color imagery are so beautiful & serene...feels like emptying your hands of the busy day & refilling with light gorgeous poem


  • Jaden silver member
    February 17
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    Very nice poem, I must say . . . it creates a space to rest in, to think about.


  • Pelican
    November 26, 2007

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    i had the pleasure of attending a hindu wedding ceremony that stretched for several days. it was very colourful and mehendi coloured the hands and feet of the bride beautifully. anyhow, i was reminded of it with the nice colour of the text and the mehendi reference. i read another poem of yours a few days ago and it instantly became a favourite. i then read another, and i felt the same way. this one is just as beautiful as the last. i am left in awe by your writing ability. your words are peaceful in a way i wish i felt without reading them.
  • pithyaplomb
    November 16, 2007
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    a whispering into solitude


  • LadyUnique silver member
    October 30, 2007

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    very soothing, like warmed oil rubbed into an aching back.
    there is freedom in these words


  • Swan song gold member
    October 2, 2007

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    These are poems that I would like to read again and again coming away with something different each time.
    I have read each three times with a hard whisper I will need to come back and ad them aloud. These are extremely good


  • Zayra
    September 26, 2007

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    This is pretty cool and I like this theme for a poem or a contest.


  • Redstormy gold member
    September 14, 2007

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    exquisite

    The title drew me in, I used to use Henna in my
    hair to darken the red. You painted a beautiful
    and tranquil picture here Al.

    Red

  • Peteskid gold member
    September 11, 2007
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    wonderful precision here, every word matters, and adds something, remarkable...PK


  • mantis180
    September 10, 2007

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    It says that you find inspiration in what you give to others... I suppose anyway This is a lovely piece, Mr AJ. I really do like it.


  • Rowan gold member
    September 10, 2007

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    It says you are inspired, is all. And excellently so, so glad you can't enter your own contests, we'd all be running away with tails tucked.
    Beautiful is an understatement.

  • luvdrkchocolate
    September 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh! I know about the henna practice. I had a friend from Morraco a long time ago. She got married and showed me all these pictures of how they painted her hands and feet for the wedding. It was so beautiful. That's what I was thinking of while I read this. So I got a feeling of serenity from this. I have a question though. How come you don't capitalize anything? If I did that, I'd be afraid my old grammer teacher would find me and beat me senseless!


  • Lyrical Soul silver member
    September 8, 2007

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    This is so lovely. A nice serene feel to this. Thoroughly enjoyed.

    ~Lyrical


  • boilerjim
    September 8, 2007
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    A nice moment

    You have painted a nice picture. I really relate to it. Thanks for the thoughts and words.


  • ellipsist
    September 8, 2007

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    this sounds like a beautiful

    experience... a serene and dream like quality to this piece... a metaphor read through kind of a haze... thought provoking, but a bit lighter touch... lovely...


  • poetryality silver member
    September 7, 2007

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    Well...I'll tell ya AJ, I certainly feel rested in the hues and calm of this poem. Very soothing! Beautiful work!

    Much Love & Respect ♥

    Renee


  • April Renee
    September 7, 2007

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    wow.

    pointed jabs seemed to leap out on one read...then on another...it fell silent. a very 'full' poem you have here...double empty is ironic, or brilliant, or chance, (lol)...nicely penned. enjoyed the read.

    blu

  • Arzab
    September 7, 2007

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    This is a beautiful write. The third and fourth stanzas seemed to be metaphorical. Powerful imagery in this piece, too. I always have to really work my brain to try to come up with a piece full of metaphors, but you seem to be able to write like this easily. Wonderful poem.


  • naked roots
    September 7, 2007
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    this is excellent...


  • Grunts Girl
    September 7, 2007

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    is it possible to give yourself the gold? lol

    there is an interesting sort of comfy here!
    at work last night there was this woman... older woman... and she had red lights all in her house.
    Here it is a custom to worship some pretty messed up things lol... and her home was like a weird voo doo shrine. By looking at her home I thought for sure she was a pretty big nutcase.. this woman, older, was sharp as a needle but looked as though she was cooking into the here after.
    not fanciful
    she looked at times as though she could see across the further shore... and i thought then, perhaps if i spent this much time with the long dead in thinking that i could see them clearly too...

    i had this thought while resting on my couch this morning...
    lol

    and yours is so much more divine


  • rebeka
    September 7, 2007

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    this is pretty al, like the rubies in there, i can see them catch the sun.

    i saw your latest contest and have thoughts to write, but it has not come together in my mind...it is peaceful to think about these things slowly sometimes, a lie on the couch indeed, is good exercise for the mind.


  • heygoo
    September 7, 2007

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    This is a lovely write. I especially enjoyed this line: "windows lit
    rubies and rust" very visual. The poem in entirety dripped with stunning visuals, nicely done.


  • Suzanne Dia gold member
    September 7, 2007

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    It's good when contests inspire us to write. Musings has me writing a diary to unleash my thoughts in empty space.

    That aside, I always wanted to get a henna tattoo, swirling and lacy running over my hand and up my forearm. Something decadent and exotic. Dripping poetry from fingertips..

    As you have done here.


  • jantastic gold member
    September 7, 2007

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    It happens to me too. I think it may be that the spark is there and not quite formed yet so you present it to others for interpretation.

    And the poem - wonderful

    I think you could get away with removing "a" from the second line, "the" from eighth line and do you need the empahsis of "and" before "i too am adorned"? Just thoughts.


  • liltandrhyme silver member
    September 7, 2007

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    The title alone grabbed the attention - the word always conjures up a sense of history, Egyptian, Indian, South American tribes daubing their bodies for fierceness in battle, or for attraction and seduction.

    Some of the metaphor was tantalisingly just out of reach for me; their was a fleeting but stark image of suicide on the initial read of the first two stanzas, with the possible confirmation of this in the final stanza - if this is the case the The overall calm and restful Autumnal aura of the poem is even more impressive.

    But I probably found meaning where none was inteended; either way this was an intriguing and well-penned poem.

    I loved:
    'the still room stands
    in the shades of early evening
    windows lit .. rubies and rust'

    My wife always buys Wedding and Christmas presents for others that she would love herself; perhaps you both should set up a help group??!!

    Great poem
    PJ


  • NurseChilly gold member
    September 7, 2007

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    well... that sort of stops us dead in our tracks of at least getting close to the crux of the contest

    lololololol

    although... i'm still trying to scrabble mine together...
    still hoping for the red hue to fall

    this however, is so peaceful and beautiful... and hey, you know when you reach a certain age... catnapping becomes a necessity... lololol

    lovely lovely lovely Al


  • Nicolette gold member
    September 6, 2007

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    This is beautiful, Al...such a serenity about this "red" poem of yours. I loved the stanza about "emptied its emptiness" - wonderful Zen-like quality about it.

    Wonderful poetry!

    ~ Nicolette


  • ca ne fait rien
    September 6, 2007

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    I can't sleep and I was thinking about your contest-and autumn leaves in general. I took a photo earlier this evening of the setting sun through the leaves of a copper beech tree, and thought, while I was trying to get to sleep- it was like the henna patterns on the hands of Indian brides. In the end I gave up and came down to mess about n the computer and there was this poem. What does that say?


  • Cat gold member
    September 6, 2007

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    so many questions this- what was the promise
    and what are you
    adorned with- and
    when you rest your eyes
    on the couch do you dream
    in brilliant shades

    i am so excited to
    find this poem- as
    it shows such precision
    of word and thought- so
    many vivid colors wash across
    the readers eyes- shades of
    peaceful thought



    this is beautiful-

  • Yvette Champ
    September 6, 2007

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    Beautifully written poetry with your own innate style.
    Your author notes re writing poetry which would be right for your own contests shows that you are able to sow a seed and inspire others aswell as yourself.Kudos.

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