I don’t wish to die
But if I had the chance,
I would try…
‘Cos I want to know how it feels,
I wanna see
If death is real…
Or maybe I just wanna run,
Maybe I just want to escape
From this old gates,
From everyone…
From people’s hate
But I’m not really sure if death,
Will really save me
From these deep,
Eternal pain
But I don’t care
I take the risk
I hold the razor tightly
And cut my left wrist
I stare at my hand
I see a group of red trickles
Going down,
Drop by drop…
I can hear the blood
Falling to the ground
"What did I did?!"
Bright red lines
on my pale wrist...
Shinning tears
Running down my cheeks
So, I guess this is the end,
This is the night
When all my dreams will die
I’m sorry for leaving like this,
I’m sorry I couldn’t say
Good Bye…
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
-
A poem that truly defines emotry it is very beautiful but like most poems ends with goodbye
-
very emotional... i like it! reminds me of myself also... :')
-
This is a very deep and emotional peice. Your first stanza begins positively and then changes almost immediately - you do not want to die and yet somehow to escape this world and all its trappings, death seems the only way out. I could almost see the girl sitting there so upset when she's cut herself like that, loving and regretting it at the same time.
There is an element of psychology behind this and gives some insight into the thought processes of the suicidal person, somehow that they feel they are in the way and want to get out. I can fully sympathise and understand that. With this one it is not about mitre or rhyme or poetry structure or form, but the sheer emotion that lies behind and in those words. Well done. Oh and thank you for commenting on my work too.
-
I didnt see any new ones so you got hit three times
I do worry about poetry talking about letting go of life for I cant imagine not seeing people I love around me . I hope this write is just feelings and not ones you are truly thinking of tell me you are OK -
OOps I hit it again
I will leave a message so you wont lose points and go to your page an pick a new poem to read -
Very sad, but so cliche'....
I love the wording and the imagery...
Just such an over used way of expressing sadness...
Keep on writing...
I want to read more...
Peace and Love...
Lost
-
This is thought provoking and perfect. You have some awesome talent and you need to keep putting it out there. I truely enojyed this.
-
I love this!
It flows reli well, and i can relate to it! =]
keep it up!
<3
-
So very sad indeed
Tell me this is not true what is being said in this poem for you have to find your own happiness and let other people and their beliefs be theirs . This world needs you and when you reach out to love in a positive way with people that truly knows the meaning of love your sorrows and pains will be no more . I am here should you need to talk and let me help you find joy in life for children I have never been able to have but that just means I have more love for those who has never known what love could be . Im here anytime off and on every day I check my messages at least every 30 minutes ti every hour so never ever cut yourself for
hun its against the bible to take your own life please
promise me you will never do this please
-
Wow this it really great. I like how it flows. That's a problem I have sometimes. The emotional pain expressed in this poem is something I can feel in my very heart. Keep writing like this. I read all 3 of the poems you wrote and this is my favorite. You make it seem like you're speaking directly to me. Keep it up!!
-
Thank you all for your comments! I really apreciate them!
-
Oh man, this is so deep. I can relate to it really well. The poem itself flows so well, it speaks of your emotional pain so well. Your heart is buried in so much pain. Great Write.
-
all i can say is this is deep.. it remind me of myself..
-
yo man intense i loved it it was so relateable ur so good at this and u wrote from the heart and that is great u should chek mine sometime
-
Sad Regrets
My first impression is of intense pain. Emotionally I feel the depth of the pain portrayed in this. This makes me want to take this child in my arms and tell her that she is worthwile and that she is loved. This is not awkward to read. I have a couple of changes for this, in the second verse the second line (escape) instead of (scape) in the third line (these) instead of (this) in verse three second line (add (me) after save). This is just great except for these small changes. My favorite is the first line. The title is appropriate for this poem. The first line is good and the last line sums this up in the way it started with the title. All over this is a good piece.
-
a pretty poem from a pretty emo ;],i love this poem again i feel related to this.Keep on writing :]
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
