a darkened arena
every empty seats
a spotlight
in the center of the ring
a bright candle
it's silent no echoes
just the smell of sweat
and stale cigars
the darkness readies
for the main event
as championship as you're ever gonna' see
on velvet feet
they enter the ring
with blazen name-sakes on their backs
it's everlast and bright silk
to no applause
no announcer barking their names
no manager in the corner
I hope we don't need a cut-man tonight
just two hearts
two lovers
about to embrace
in the dance of life
no cutsey-pie ring girl
showing the rounds
nobody cares what round it is anyway
the ten count has been waved
all the training
all the pain
just the taste of the mouth peice
it's now showtime ladies and gentlemen
always protect yourself
the bell rings
gloves touch
as lips must
circling
circling
two winners center ring
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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Umm nicely written. It changes the whole way I view boxing on television now...it's kind a...sexy!
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Nice write here!!
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The 'match' of the day huh, everlast and bright silk...aw you gotta love em!
Like the way you mixed this, no punches pulled...just a sweet embrace; two fighters they'll remain till death do they part...sock it to me one more time sweetheart...
Great use of metapfor...hey! there's the bell!
John
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and this is a knock out!
okay, I apologize for the corny pun, but you sure had my attention to the end, and as always, you left me smiling and wanting more.
L
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OH. OWWWWW! Hurt so good. Come on Baby make it hurt so good........
's
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There's a subtle rhythm to the form in this piece. Conjures up the movement of the two circling fighters right through to the closing lines -
' the bell rings
gloves touch
as lips must
circling
circling
two winners center ring '
V. good stuff indeed !
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It changes shape right in front of your eyes. Unique. Very gripping, I wanted to read more. I like this line - nobody cares what round it is anyway -
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A beautiful yet subtle take on lovers. Wonderfully written I enjoyed this very much!
xo
Cyb -
Your epiphany,as it should, reveals the true meaning of your work. 'two winners center ring'-- not unlike a wedding ceremony; wouldn`t you say?--------Bob 42
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excellent expression
You have certainly provided the reader with many stong images and emotions in this write. I like the comparison you have used here between the boxers and the lovers.
Thank you for sharing.
Jeannette
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This is interesting.. you think like a man =) Shadow boxing comes to mind and the female dancing all about the male trying so trying to get him to understand . you have hidden things.
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Keep up on your toes... and dance... it's the one with the biggest heart and the strongest legs who will hear the fifteenth bell. Blood tastes like copper... sweat stings the eyes like acid. Love always mean going the distance. Brilliant poem Charles. My type of poetry!
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two people ,love and boxing ...very interesting..
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great story told here! Very well written!
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great poem, and you used amazing imagery to help tell the story. you also did an outstanding job of relating boxing to the conflict that couples face in their relationships; i know this story very well for myself as well, having experienced a few hardships within my own life. amazing work, i am really hoping to read more from you in the near future!
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Interesting POV
This is an interesting yet inspiring POV of boxing. I have always said the right poet can put words to anything. -
i really thought this was going to be about two dogs. lol. i am not disappointed in the least bit though. thank you for sharing this with me today and i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie
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I enjoyed your poem, your comment to me, and your author page very much!
I like the feeling of these run-together pieces, without punctuation. It picks up speed, with enthusiasm, and you reach the end grinning and breathless. Love the last line, love boxing!
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My type of poetry my friend! Wonderful description and imagery!
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Outstanding!
What an excellent write. I thought I had read this before but alas, I had not and am glad I checked to make sure. The way you used the boxing ring as a standing ground for couples was ingenious. You could very well liken a relationship from beginning to end on the same lines, couldn't you. There are the darkened corners they go to when they don't see eye to eye, and the centre ring when they want to let their love shine so openly. An absolute wonderful piece that really made me smile. Every part of the ring can very well go hand in hand with a couple embarking on a lifes journey together. Well done indeed.
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KNOCK OUT !!!
Dempsey ...Jimmy Dolan....bare knuckles..
goin a few rounds with Katie Taylor in a G string....lol..
At a Holiday Inn in the water bed ring in central Belfast...lol
Lad...you are priceless...
love how ya meshed the two...
again ....your the pride of the Celtic poets...
you have probably had more tookie then the Irish Tenors put together...lol
Love this lad!
God Bless Ya!,
Lowell
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Aww, love is a struggle at times...great metaphor...too bad the relationship was more boxing and less wrestling lol A very entertaining write. Well done.
Rory
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is this symbolic of a relationship, if not i still see how good this is the narrative is great and the descriptive language put me in that ring if this was not your case to put me in that ring i could also see that too this is intresting, your stuff is freash, im intregued!
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Hi
Sounds like a Ring Lardner commentary. Must have been a good fight. I miss the rounds girl though! And I like to smoke, but I'm not sure I would enjoy those "smokers"
of yesterday with eight hundred people smoking as well!LOL
Great narrative of the ante-bedlam!
Love? If you say so!
John
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this is really a solid piece of work!! Two boxers--fighting-- Life and love and the battles throughout love is what I read from this, great metaphors used and VERY clever!!!! I LOVE this poem
and i wouldnt change a thing
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You've got a great twist in this piece, about halfway threw, and I really enjoyed the length it took for us to have the eurika moment - it made myself analyze what I was ready - looking for more - before I connected it all together. To me, this metaphor is more then double what it shows. Boxers - are fighting, its violent - and so, in a since, this piece reads to almost as though love is violent in itself, no matter how enjoyable it may be from the outside.
Such personality, and strong emotions leak threw your poems. You really show meaning in the greatly mudane. Wonderful work. -
Interesting metaphor utilizing what isn't seen and revealing the private shadow dancing between lightweights, yes, lovers parry, spar, dance and there is no audience. Neat.
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Hmmmm. I see two people becoming lovers here, the boxing ring a metaphor for the first meeting of lips and hearts. Lovers as antangonists, which I suppose, in a sense, they are - for when we give ourselves to someone, we lose ourselves too. But you have them both as winners, in the final line. Even if I have read this wrongly, I like it.
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I've read through several of your poems and find your work to be quite solid. This one is interesting because I never saw the attraction of boxing before.
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I like this piece..it opitimizes sport...I thought the line about "two lovers about to embrace in the dance of life" it just seemed to capture he art of the sport for me. I'm not a boxer, but my dad was and he often explained that it was an art and in its finest form it flowed ans swayed like a dance. Thank you for this!!!
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Im slightly comfused with this. It mensions lovers. So is there live a devorse or somethign? It comfuses me. Buts its good tho
|DF|14| -
hmmmmmmm
hello there - this old guy needs a authors note on this one - way over my head - the poem flows great - I am a rhymer - so to me a poem is not a poem unless it rhymes - then it is a story - there seems to be a hidden message here that escapes me - all in all - great piece - Bless God - Joe
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