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Dance with Me

 

 

 

 

 

Come

dance with

me under the moon.

Together we shall feast as

only true lovers can. Bloody lips

attached to the necks of unknowing

men who wander through the night alone.

Once pale skin now alight with the rosey

hue of the truly sated, pulling you

along with me I whisper so

very softly, won't you

dance with me

under the

moon?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Amadahy Rayne

September 5,2007

11:49pm

Author notes

Um, yeah. I so like this new form, I hope you like it.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 24 of 24

  • silent28mystery
    April 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A very fascinating presentation style. A diamond, pretty smooth. Besides that the poem is a great piece. Wish you all the best for more good works and new styles


  • Pandorea
    December 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    hey...interesting. I like the diamond from and this is really quite beatuiful.


  • stavykm gold member
    September 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    I like it, most definitly

    Wow the was you layed out your poem on this page amazes me! Dance with me is a perfect title for this poem and then the first line come dance with me under the moon, last line again, won't you dance with me under the moon. All of the title, first and last line complete's the poem perfectly and the visual is excellent! I love your poem and I felt very light heated and swept off my feet! Thank you for sharing your poem with me! stavykm

    • Midnight Raeven
      September 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for that comment, I am so glad that you enjoyed it as much as you did. Sometimes when I sit down to ponder about my poetry, I am surprised it comes out like it does. I am amazed in myself sometimes because I really don't see it as everyone else does. I am extremely hard on myself when I reread my poetry, but for some reason this poem I am actually happy with lol.

      I am happy that you thought it flows well together and that makes me glad. Thanks again!

      Always,
      Amadahy


  • MidnightPoet545
    September 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    I love the imagery, very well written, and the new form you used matched well with what you were trying to say. Great piece of work.

    • Midnight Raeven
      September 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much! Your comment means a lot to me, I am happy that there are others on this site that think I am worthy of reading!

      Thanks,
      Amadahy


  • darkknight marellus
    September 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Mmmmm, yummy. Great job! I love the form, the picture, everything about this poem. It's so hauntingly beautiful, an invitation to feed for the things that go bump in the night. Great job! I think I'll have to try this form out sometime...Can you teach me?

    Awesome poem, Amadahy Rayne. PS: How do you say your name? Phonetically speaking, of course.

    Thanks for the sharing with us!!!

    Akasha

    • Midnight Raeven
      September 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Yummy huh?? Lol thank you so much for your warm compliment! I appreciate it when other poets comment and read my poetry, it is kinda hard when you are new to the site, but so far I am enjoying it here.

      Well teaching you something I am learning would be hard lol, BUT I can tell you that you can find the same class I am taking right here on AP. Just go to the class button up top on the screen and click classes....scroll down the list until you see Shape Poetry led by CelticMoon, She is an amazing poet and teacher. This diamond shape was the second lesson and it is really easy, she explains how to do it all very simply with examples. Plus she is always there to answer questions.

      As for my name it is Cherokee and you pronounce it like this:

      Ah mah dah He Rayne

      Thank you again for your comment!

      Always,
      Amadahy Rayne

      • darkknight marellus
        September 6, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        Well then, thank you for pointing me in the right direction! I think you are quite talented, Amadahy! You're so welcome for the comment and applause!

        Akasha


  • Tears of Roses
    September 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow mesmerizing
    Wonderful poem
    Roses to you

    Teresa


  • ennovy silver member
    September 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    How radiant this piece is and I love this form. what a lovely couple you have created...Thanks for entering my contest...novy

    "May your fangs be forever sharp"

    • Midnight Raeven
      September 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I am glad that you like this poem, I have a prewritten poem about Vampyres, but in this contest I chose to show off the more romantic side to them. I didn't really want to show the bloodthirsty kill you over a raw steak, Hollywood Vampyre.

      I hope it was a risk worth taking. I like this contest and that form is so fun.

      Thanks for commenting!

      Always,
      Amadahy


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    September 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is something i mean that i liked it, and you did a golden job on this, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest

    • Midnight Raeven
      September 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Aaron. I am trying out that new form and I hope it is working well, I was just rereading it and noticed that it looks better with that moon over it. Makes it more romantic to me.

      Thank for your comment,

      Always,
      Amadahy

  • Climbing2nothing
    September 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Together we shall feast as
    only true lovers can

    yeah liked this one, the twist of the vampires is very wild moon, (which is in cancer in my part of the world) anyheys nice write w SHIRAZ -JAS

    • Midnight Raeven
      September 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks!

      I appreciate your comment. I tried to make this poem more on the romantic side of the Vampyres instead of the Hollywood side. Glad you liked it!

      Always,
      Amadahy

  • WanderingPoetess
    September 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oooh I like this form...
    Imagery was nice... If only my husband were still awake.
    Thanks for this intertaining read.

    • Midnight Raeven
      September 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I am so glad you liked my poem and this form, I am learning to write in Shape Poetry. Tis a class I am taking on AP classes. It is fun and I am learning a lot.

      Hope your husband enjoys it as well

      Always,
      Amadahy


  • ereyes
    September 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    nice

    A romantic and meaningful poem for a two person who are in love trying to enjoy the night. Dancing under the moon, so magical, so romantic, very passionate, the soft whispers that each other can here. The beauty of the moon that strikes love is completely a romantic, loving, and passionate way of telling how in love this two people can be. Beautiful piece of work.

    • Midnight Raeven
      September 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your comment it means a lot to me. I appreciate the other poets who take their time to stroll over to my works and take a peek. This was a fun poem to write, when I saw the contest I was like Oooh! Then I started writing it and it just poured out so easily.

      I love the full moon it just does something to people!

      Always,
      Amadahy


  • Stickboy gold member
    September 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    cool poem good luck in the conest

1 - 24 of 24