Sit down,
strap in.
Off we go,
thirty little
seats.
Ten minutes of
head whipping.
Finished!
Bummer cars,
hitting and ramming,
over and over,
seeking out the one
least liked.
Praise, praise,
clickity clack,
suspend,
free fall,
arms raised.
Funhouse; give me
dark, monsters,
fear.
Kiddie land;
under thirteen
only please.
Midway games;
aim higher,
shoot faster
win little
gold and silver
trinkets.
As words
run out,
wander through
the exhibits,
to the parking lot.
A contest entry
- nothing, but a carnival ... (read the rules first) by A Prophet of 3.
4457 points, ended October 30, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
This entry is meant stricktly for fun!
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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the title fits this well ... i could feel this trip ... like sliding down a greased sliding board ... it is amazing sometimes reading the works on this board these days of how "writers" are forcing words onto a page just to have something in print ... sometimes i can actually hear them weeping (the words i mean)
nicely done, however i honestly think you could take these thoughts and stretch them into the more elaborate blinking lights of the rigged games, the rusted rails of abandoned follies, and desperate cries of the starving barkers ...
much enjoyed this and being new here take your time and write the complete opposite of 90% of what you read here *smiling* ... *cheers* -
should "bummer" be "bumper" in the fourth stanza?
best wishes! -
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Thanks for commenting!
Anyway, I debated on bumper or bummer...what do you think?
thanks
*PEACE*
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You had to know, just by the title of this poem I was drawn-in.
You were "nice" by all accounts to AP as a carnival-scenario by this poem. So many times I've compared AP to a sideshow at the circus; or, worse yet, a funny farm. Think I'll stay with the carnie-crowd!
Enjoyed the read, and best wishes to you in the contest!
Jo
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Thanks....
I enjoyed writing it...I'm fairly new here...and took the contest host's idea......and ran with it!
*PEACE*
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