Thank you for purchasing our User's Guide.
Please be aware your model may not be
So compatible with any specific example
The Guide cites herein. An overview:
Your model will require an offer of
Sustenance three times a day, with roughly
Six hours between each fueling. A
Model may malfunction without this schedule.
General daily maintenance includes:
Cleaning of tools for mastication;
Thorough rinsing with soap;
Application of an underarm deodorant.
Your model may occasionally suffer fits
Caused by an excess of any "emotion."
These "emotions" seem to be a result of
Faulty wiring. In such cases, here are some strategies:
Ignore the model for the duration of the malfunction;
Attempt to learn which "emotion" is causing said
Malfunction, and correct model as such;
Or dispose of the model, explaining you can still be friends.
Again, thank you for your purchase of our Guide,
And good luck maintaining your model.
Author notes
2. Describe a person without using words normally applied to humans (you can use “the” etc) – objectify them (please not just in the “man objectifying a woman” way)
A contest entry
- Gasps! It's an options contest! by chugglepuff.
700 points, ended September 9, 2007, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Brilliant! It made me smile despite the sad meaning. I love how you only properly realise who the human is when you reach "Or dispose of the model, explaining you can still be friends." This wasn't what I was expecting at all with this option, but I really like how you've done this! A can't think of anything I'd change, you've done this just perfectly. Thanks very much for your entry and keep up the great work!
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