I shake out my
[Vanity]
Give it a spritz
Liquid eye my
[Delirium]
A second time
And curl my
[Temptation]
These pockets are deep
[Superficial], my pools
With
Molten
S.r.a.p.n.e.l.
That shreds into your
[Fluidity]
Apparently…
Insults
Are lost
In
You…
Author notes
The first idea I had might have come off as insulting. and then I looked at your picture and thought.. would she be insulted?
A contest entry
- Just Me...And You... by FlipperSwitch.
600 points, ended September 8, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Hmm.
I like the words you used in this that give complicity and complexity to it; your bracketed words give a succinct, snappy feel and overall it was good.
^blackburn^
ps on this photo your nails arent black and white? on your author page it said they were
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haahaa they usually are! either that or red! I'm in school and work all the time so I really only have the weekends to do my nails! ::winks::
J~~~
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i liked it and i love the way you used your descriptors...i love imagery which is why i always try to embrace it when i write...so any one who can give me good imagery in a poem has a thumbs up from me...you know that
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haha! i love it! the structure of the poem is an art itself. rad!
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I am not insulted, you pulled it off nicely with this poem and the style is something I rarely see in contests I hold- thanks for that
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