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I'm [Shallow]?

I shake out my

[Vanity]

Give it a spritz

Liquid eye my
[Delirium]
A second time

And curl my
[Temptation]

These pockets are deep
[Superficial], my pools
With

Molten

S.r.a.p.n.e.l.

That shreds into your

[Fluidity]

Apparently…

Insults
Are lost
In

You…

Author notes

The first idea I had might have come off as insulting. and then I looked at your picture and thought.. would she be insulted?

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • dubiety
    September 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Hmm.

    I like the words you used in this that give complicity and complexity to it; your bracketed words give a succinct, snappy feel and overall it was good.
    ^blackburn^
    ps on this photo your nails arent black and white? on your author page it said they were


    • danceswsquirrels
      September 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      haahaa they usually are! either that or red! I'm in school and work all the time so I really only have the weekends to do my nails! ::winks::

      J~~~


  • smartywpolicy
    September 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i liked it and i love the way you used your descriptors...i love imagery which is why i always try to embrace it when i write...so any one who can give me good imagery in a poem has a thumbs up from me...you know that


  • pinkstardust13
    September 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    haha! i love it! the structure of the poem is an art itself. rad!


  • FlipperSwitch
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I am not insulted, you pulled it off nicely with this poem and the style is something I rarely see in contests I hold- thanks for that

1 - 5 of 5