He broke my heart I spent my whole life tryin' to forget
With the 11 years as friends.
He was my light when I needed it all to be so dark.
Not realizing that there was a disease that crept in,
And stealing Him from me it did.
Facing it He did not and so my story goes on.
"He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger"
Not realizing what it was doing it me and still....
Not realizing that I still loved him after all the lies and disappointments.
"Life is short but this time it was bigger"
Bigger than he, or I, would realize.
"Than the strength he had to get up off his knees"
After I left with the baby and deciding that this was not for me.
A life of denial was no way for me to go on.
And so this kept going.
Leaving and coming back,
Promises still broken as the denial got worse.
The rumors flew but nobody knew how much I really blamed myself.
Knowing that all I had to do was stand up and support "my man"
But what do you do when you are not happy and have three kids to care for?
"For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath"
As his denial became my own.
And how so this could be.
As the bottle seems easier to turn to.
As the denials get worse.
But this is only a metaphor for my life.
As it is not the dependence of a bottle but just denial.
As it took my man, it took me with him.
And so, they lay both of our bodies down beneath the willows and weep.
As you wonder why this had to be.
For depression and other mental states of mind creep into relationships and people deny what needs to be done.
Author notes
inspired by: Whiskey Lullaby-brad paisley
also inspired by the mental disorders of my true love.
Username:HpWICKEDangel
A contest entry
- Give me Your BEST. dare enter? by Audie-Is-Healed.
320 points, ended September 7, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites that dont suck. by parachute fog.
400 points, ended October 20, 2007, 93 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tell me about your life by Angel Of Heaven99.
475 points, ended September 7, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Song inspired by God is my reality.
425 points, ended September 17, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [[ Unrequited Love and a Longing for You ]] by ThatONEweirdChick.
602 points, ended September 24, 2007, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter All Your Personal Writes Here (Part IV) by xxRainbowDawnxx.
900 points, ended May 24, 2008, 208 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bipolar, ADHD, Skitso, ect. by Elvenfairy.
341 points, ended October 3, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
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this poem was a bit long for my atention span and I had trouble reading it because the story didn't flow well. Other than that this was a very powerful poem. Please make sure you follow my rules if you plan to enter my contests ok?
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We've all been broken, it takes someone real strong to realise it's not our faults as you blamed yourself like I always have and it's never good, when they are the one that truly hurt you.
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oh so true... unfrotunately. i liked the way you you wrote the poem... it makes me wanna hum which is a good thing in a poem.
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Wow...I really can't deny this poem is very emotional and a lot of couples are going through the same experience...
Filled with truth and emotional...
XXJeannette
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womderful wonderful. love the message this one brings and all the words greatly expressed.
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For depression and other mental states of mind creep into relationships and people deny what needs to be done.
I love the message and the intriguing flow of this write touching the universal philosophy of our life..This is an amazing write revealing the truth of this Life just in thought provoking words..and this is the strength of write..I love this piece..thank you so much for sharing this great write..well done....
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Your poem is so inspiring! Great job!
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very strong message here, though I think it would represent better with a little more editing, however, your message and use of metaphores here is great.
Denial is a terrible destructive monster. I've been there, in another life
...Glad that your spouse is getting help, and hopefully you both will overcome this painful part of your life.
Good Luck
and God Bless,
Sincerely,
Sassy
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so sorry to have to remove since it has more than 3 comments
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that is fine
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this was indeed a powerul piece and full of great emotion. yet didnt feel a connection in some parts. well penned full of great imagery none the less.
good luck to you
Tory
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Hmm... this poems doesn't exactly fit my contest but I still thank you for adding it. It does indeed have a message to and and I think it's deep. Keep writing =]
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This is great. I love how you put a little of the song in it. Excellent job. I love this song, it is so sad, and it makes you think
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i relate to it so strongly its almost my song.
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Excellent Write
Wow I could really relate to this poem. Oh how this happens to many of us. So sad I felt for the suicide and the denial it broke my heart knowing how true this is for me in different ways though! I'm in recovery myself because of all my denials,yet they still pop up new ones and old ones of course. the title is perfect
Denial of Life it drew me in right away then the first line he broke my heart and all my life trying to forget so perfect and the last line as you wonder why this had to be!! I suffer from bi-polar disorder and am recovering from drug addiction, so I totally understood your poem. Very great and your comment at the end really touched my heart. Thank you for sharing so much truth and your gift to write poetry so honestly and about the realities of life. stavykm
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i am sticking by my man through his trails with bi-polar and the like. he has been diagnosed with sooo much these last few years, that he totally doesnt see whats going on. but as things are turning out, he is turning around and coming out of the denials. things are really hard at this point in time, and thats where this all came from. i am so glad it has touched so many people in ways.
and with him i am becoming some what of the woman i envisioned myself to be.
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excellent
must have be very difficult to even write....hats off to you my friend
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not as difficult as it actually seems when you are in the middle of this battle of denial. thanks for the encouragement.
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This piece is something, sad to say, so many can relate to. We tend to lose ourselves in the demons of people we love and they are not able to even see this because they are so lost. A very powerful message.
Soulful Woman
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even thoguh this is a very based truth on my behalf. i am still trying to work with the demons that my fiencee has. He is starting to come out of the denial stage and face what he has had. and so i am starting to see the woman i need to be as well. at the moment we have decided to take a "break" from each other so we can work things out amongst ourselves without dragging the other down. but we know that we are there for each other if ever we need it. thanks for reading.
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So sad, but so true
Very good. I think I can relate on a smaller scale. No details but this poem struck well with me. Reminds me of a snippet from a song by 10 YEARS.
"The rise and fall
we decompose"
-10 Years
A small snippet it may be. But it sounds good!
Excellent poem! -
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i'll have to look the song up. never heard of them or the song but it could broaden my music genre. i have been broadening it these last few months and ill add that group to my list
like it said in the author's notes... the song that helped this along was by brad paisely and alison kraus "whiskey lullaby".
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What a good poem!! There is no rhyme scheme, but that's self-evident... It flowed really well, which is pretty difficult to do with a poem that has no rhyme scheme..... So kudos there.... And I liked the quotes in the middles of the poem... really added alot to the poem.... I loved that....
I think that when you said:
"For depression and other mental states of mind creep into relationships and people deny what needs to be done."
You should have put that in the author notes.... Would have made it far better I think.... maybe that was the idea, but you didn't put it there..... So it's part of the poem and it really just doesn't fit....
Overall, good job.... Keep up the good work!!!
~ Asa of the Readers of Unrhyming Poems -
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i dont do much rhyming in my poems. i am a "free verse" kind of person, i am not at all good at the rhyming thing.
I actually tried to have it as part of the poem, for a final food for thought kind of thing, but it messed up a little when i was editing. it turned out ok i thought, *shrugs*
It was mainly written for a contest, a song inspired contest. but it also helped that i read an other featured poem on here... a battered woman's story (or something like that). and so my story went. this is actually based on my life life with my other half (fiancee.
Glad you liked it and took the time to read it.
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I like this write. Very emotional and powerful. Good luck to you!
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This is a deep write and I enjoyed it much. You have such a way with words. Thank you for sharing this with us all.
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thank you for reading this piece. i am glad you enjoyed it. and hope that others take the time and enjoy as well. although this is a personal piece, it needed to be shared.
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We are bigger than the sum of our moments, for there are so many more to be lived.
I can hear the way the soil has been turned, seeded and the crops yielded. So as this season of planting comes anew, what would your harvest bear besides the bitterness of a winter's frost.
Love, Tom B.
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it seems that half of this crop might be soured for the rage of all these years of appriaciaten but in other fields there will be nice big crops that were seeded just right and had the care that they truly needed.
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Very powerful piece here...I remember this song very well...so sad this is too....just seeps into the heart and cries tears of understanding...great job here in expression...hugs, Terry
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at this point in my life it is about the only thing that called to me to express. i wish i couldve put more but i figured that the last few lines had a punch to them.
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nice poem, tells of the rise and fall of a relationship, and how the author is not sure if death like the song speaks of is all that bad, but the children need both mom and dad.
Riftkin -
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i know this for a fact. i lost my dad when i was but 5. i am fighting the fact of doing such things but i am not looking forward to the day when i am barried until i see my grandkids
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