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Until my mouth got in the way

[This has been said so many times
            I’m not sure if it matters]

I've messed up
Dragged down&Thrown around
Words that mean nothing
Nothing
To you
& yet,
I can't walk away
I'm balancing on the point of a knife
Kicking these excuses with
Every intention there is

I repeat the words
[A rehearsal in my mind]
I'm NOT doing fine
Lets just stay put
Lets stay between the lines

[My mouth moves too fast for you to figure it out]
As the rain pours down
I love you
I love you
I've screwed up so bad

When you fall for someone
You
Fall
Hard
But when you fall for a friend
You
Lose
It
ALL

Author notes

This goes with my usual friend for friend idea
[Which I'm thinking of basing a contest on]
But I used lyrics from fall out boy
[This has been said so many time I’m not sure if it matters]
[My mouth moves too fast for you to figure it out]

Thanks

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

  • Beautiful Irony
    December 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Firstly, I love the form you've chosen. It's very unique, and I think it works for this poem.
    I also think you very much deserved the trophy that you got for this piece. I love the fact that you actually have to think for yourself when you read this poem - a lot can be taken from implication, rather than what's specifically said.

    I absolutely love the line "Lets stay /between/ the lines." I love that, that's inspired.

    Though, 1 thing, "lets," I think, needs an apostrophe, as it's a shortened form of "let us". I think.

    I also love the final stanza, not only because it's brilliant, but because it's so true. This poem resonates with me, because I've been there. Well if I'm honest, that's where I stand at the moment, so this is a particularly powerful poem for me.

    This is excellent.

    Sarah


  • EvenStarsBreak--x
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow, it was all just so ... hmmm whats the word I'm looking for? got it: AMAZING! ^-^ Wonderfully written, excellent flow. =] Awesome write!


  • MelissahhMidnite
    September 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. That's awesome. Great write I love the story lines and I love how you used the lyrics.