good, bad, and me caught in the middle

Dear Stranger (for that's what you are now),

        Don't apologize. I don't want or need your fake pity, your feigned remorse for your past deeds to me.  I've always wondered why you did it; as if knowing that could make it hurt less, could make everything ok again. But seeing as how you don't seem willing to give up the reason, or don't have one, I am no longer waiting for it. Is that what you wanted? A final disinigration of my spirit? For me to give up? Just so you could prove to yourself that your a vile and grotesque human being? Well, don't get your hopes up because I'm frusterated and annoyed, not beaten and most certainly not broken.  Please, bring it on, pile on the pain, the backstabbing, the damage you've done to yourself. I'm asking you to give me all that you've got. I don't want your forced tears, your facade of guilt. I can see right through your little show, I know your deepest thoughts, more than you think I do. Bring on your razors, and your lies, I'll be waiting when you come back to sanity, I'll be there when you become human again, and regain your conscience.






I'm always around, waiting, watching...
                                                              Sincerely,
                                                                    you know who

I recieve a letter in the mail; a letter with my own address as a return address.  I got a letter...from myself? When had I written that?...And suddenly I realized that it wasn't me at all; it was my body sure...but it wasn't me. It was my good side, returning at last, telling me that my bad side is gaining control again, reminding me of things I've done to myself. Must stomp it out, must stay the same. The voice appears in my head, evil, harsh, grating like the sounds of two rough rocks rubbed together. A deep feeling of loathing appears in my chest, but I know it's not my feelings, no, its my bad side, my evil side, the demon that resides in me.  They are always fighting; my angel, and my devil, and in the midst, I get lost, forgotten.

I give in...I give up my body...I've had enough...and as I fade I see the two, fighting over my body...My spirit barely escaping their grasps...The golden one, she speaks to me.."..I'm sorry.." I hear it whispered in my head, ringing like beautiful church bells...And my last thoughts before the black nothingness of being rejected by both light & dark, I whispered.."..Don't say your sorry, It's over now..its all over..."