Ho! Ho! Ho! I heard him say
As he looked at me, then flew away
With sled lights flashing and red nose shining
I knew that Christmas he was undermining
I took great offence at his parting words
How dare he compare me to the common herds
For they flash their goods to all who pass
When all I need do is shake my ass
He paid me well, it’s true, I admit
But then left with his nose all in a snit
Just because I wanted to take a snooze
And all he wanted was to drink my booze
Now I don’t want to make him seem rude
But Santa’s behavior, it’s really quite crude
Christmas has come and gone but soon
We’ll see him again by the light of the moon
And he doesn’t need reindeer to guide his way
Not even Rudolph at the front of his sleigh
For he has that shiney red alcoholic nose
To clear him for flight wherever he goes
But this year he better watch his mouth
Or he might just be headed south
‘Cuz this here lady, hoe or not
Aint puttin’ up with nothing from that old sot
Dee Garner
© September 5, 2007
Author notes
I chose #8 Santa has a drinking problem
In a list
A contest entry
- Partners n crime group great escape by Partners In Crime.
300 points, ended September 7, 2007, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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LMAO I always thought this guy was a bit dodgy lol, what a humerous piece that gave me a wonderful chuckle, great job
Karen
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I can't stop laughing LOL this is so so funny n weeeee I can't wait for christmas 
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That poor old Santa...I think he really has a drinking problem, how he looks
It's got to be true....
And Lady
I do hope the south..is not including the Netherlands hey? I don't want Santa here to drink all my booze
I want to do that myself
Good laugh,
thank you
XXJeannette
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This is really cute
Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
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Thanks for the grins my friend. I really needed some cheer, Christmas or not, right about now. Good luck in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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Thanks, Leo I'm sorry you're feeling down right now... I'll see if Santa left any booze, must be something there that will bring down the blues... AHA!! How about a Black Russian, guaranteed to take away the pain
Thank you for the read and comment. I'm glad it made you smile Believe it or not, I wrote that in about 10 miutes, trying to beat the deadline... it's been saying 'ends in 6 hours' since early this afternoon 
Dee
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roflmao
When all I need do is shake my ass
now I have the giggles. lol
This is too funny
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Thanks for the comment... I'm glad it made you laugh
Dee
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ha ha ha
That is really cute...and who has the drinking problem??? Wasn't it your booze he was drinking...
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Hey, Santa made me do it, Darlene. Remember I told you since we were kids that Santa Clause isn't what he's cracked up to be, but NOOOOO... you wouldn't listen. How come?
You listened to me about everything else.
love and
Dee
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Ha! You just think I listened to you...
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I love it , Oh Boy I love it
oh sister this one was the best. I love it....... You wrote one of the best I seen so far.. Good luck sis
Morningstar
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Thank you I had fun writing this one, it was a rush job
Dee
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