Shattered eyes;
Crushing themselves
Against the floor
As the
[Sun breaks]
And the
[Rainbows die.]
Hearts are
Beating themselves to Death
And painting themselves in
Violet,
Magenta,
Lilac,
Blueberry,
Cerulean,
And
Black.
And the stars are
Dropping,
Falling,
Evaporating,
Into nothing but dust of dreams
That pretend
To be
Embers.
Chaos,
Confusion,
Catastrophes
And Hysteria
Are thrashing my mind
And controlling it
With all these images of
Hope-like corpses.
And you’re a pretty picture
Smeared on corners of my
Memories.
Dressing everything up
In a fashion of romance.
[Letting romantic candles
Light my emotions in flames
Because
They
Look
Pretty.]
Our words have caught us
Off Guard
And they’re tangling us
In a web of lies
We created using our own
Laced up [Heart throbs.]
Failing expectations
Are dripping from my pores
Because I can’t seem to
Clean up this mess.
[And they just keep coming
And coming
Like the promises you
Pretended to make me.]
Serving them on a platter
That once meant something.
Regurgitating
Thoughts
And spitting up
Chewed off fingernails
That were accompanying the
Butterflies to a
Midnight snack in my
Stomach.
Dancing to the punch
Of the cadence
That my heart plays,
We’re tripping over
Pinched nerves and
Unhealthy sincerities.
Messy, false innuendos
Douse my face in
Bleeding, fading perfection.
A cry for help
Plastered to my attention.
And even though I can’t help
But hold your heart hostage,
[You’re torturing mine
In a jail cell.]
Author notes
Word used:
Burlesque, which means travesty, mockery, joke.
You know- that sort of thing.
And quite honest, that's how I feel right now.
So this piece is sort of about in general how I'm rather confused and upset [overreacting is a problem I have.] and still sort of falling for him.
And how everything is sort of painted with the chance of being humiliated.
I know you like shorter stuff, I hope you don't get bored with this darling! :/
Good luck with the contest.
x--butterflykisses.
A contest entry
- My Very Own Rounds Contest - Part Two by Exodus.
1200 points, ended September 20, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Is Dirty Pretty a Lost Cause? by Hell In Harmony.
6500 points, ended July 22, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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And spitting up
Chewed off fingernails
That were accompanying the
Butterflies to a
Midnight snack in my
Stomach.
very nice
I love your style of writing! -
Hearts are
Beating themselves to Death
And painting themselves in
Violet,
Magenta,
Lilac,
Blueberry,
Cerulean,
And
Black.
I liked that! I liked the way you like, listed things.
Dancing to the punch
Of the cadence
That my heart plays,
We’re tripping over
Pinched nerves and
Unhealthy sincerities.
good stanza, the others werent AS strong.
I like the ending. its a fresh and new
form thank god<3
Kat
-
Mmm... It's lovely.
It seems like I've read it before though. Which is weird... cause I apparently didn't comment.
I must ponder this. Holes in my memory bother me. xD
I shall try and come back to leave a better one. -
Wow! I love the spectra of colours flowing like a river. very bold and beautiful write
Thanks so much for sharing and I wish you all the best in the contest.
VIRGOAN -
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Awe, thank you so much. :] <3
-
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beautiful word choice
i love you descriptions here
i think my favorite phrase was:
And you’re a pretty picture
Smeared on corners of my
Memories.
but i liked so many of them its hard to say.
and i can relate to your over reacting to things
that's just how i am
but it makes for great poetry, eh?
great write, i thuroughly(sp?) enjoyed it! -
-
Thank you very much. :]
<3
-
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I'm in love with the title of this poem
Wow.
"Regurgitating
Thoughts
And spitting up
Chewed off fingernails
That were accompanying the
Butterflies to a
Midnight snack in my
Stomach."
That's an incredibly powerful stanza. This entire poem is pretty powerful, you have a wonderful use of imagery and, honestly, most poems of consistent length I don't like to read, but this one caught me immediately.
-
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Thank you very much. :]
I appreciate the comment. <3
-
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Babes you could have made this twice as long and I wouldn't have gotten bored! I loved every word of it, expecially the alliteration everywhere (everyone knows I'm a sucker for good alliteration, and boy did this deliver). You seem to have gotten 10 times better while I wasn't looking, and I'm hardly complaining, just wondering when I blinked and missed it
I loved it from start to finish hun, thank you
-
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Haha,
awe, thank you so much. :]
I'm glad you liked it and good luck with your contest.
<3
-
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Jeez Shannon.
You are bloody amazing.
Like
SHAWOAH.
[which is a word I just made up]
you better win,
or,
I'm beating someone with a wiffle bat.
♥
~Princess of Shadows~ -
-
lol, so I was going through my old poems, and I Found this comment here,
and well.
Turns out I didn't ever win this contest,
and di you ever beat someone with a wiffle bat?
-
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A wiffle bar?
what the hell is my problem?
haha
I meant bat haha -
yup.
I beat my bother with a wiffle bar =] -
-
Wow.
Violent, or what? o.O
Do you always walk around with bars, ... batting people. and such.
Great, Mary.
You're real nice. o.O
-
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Ahahaha. Awe,
Thank you.
[I hope SHAWOAH is good.]
lmfao.
I laughed out louddd. <3
-
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