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Slow-motion grimaces and incomplete words

Slow-motion grimaces and incomplete words
are all that my so called friends have to offer.
The glances around the room speak for themselves,
so the verbal abuse is all the more potent.

The funeral of a wedding is so close at hand,
why am I the only one to see it?
The group at the reception paste on fake smiles,
as long as compliments change hands, it's all okay.

The girls know how to get what they want,
the boys pretend they aren't even interested
in the way that their world will also come to end.
The poor groom, his life is gone now, his choice.

The bride knows how to get what she needs,
a man who knows how to survive, but he can't.
She'll bleed him dry as his world blinds him to
what she's doing to him in his sleep.

Explain to me why they kill themselves slowly.
This game called "Love" is all just their facade.
They hide behind the stained-glass windows of
the funeral procession known as the Vows.

Let them destroy the worlds around them,
for now all I have to offer this group of
exstinction waiting to happen is
slow-motion grimaces and incomplete words.

Author notes

I like to bite

A contest entry

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Comments


  • vampireblood
    October 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was a good piece. I liked how you started and ended with the exact same line. Nice job on this piece.
    Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
    ~Vampy~

  • Virgoan
    September 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Love the simplicity and brilliance of this piece.

    Thanks so much for sharing and I wish you all the best in the contest. Keep writing fellow poet.

    >>>VIRGOAN


  • chugglepuff
    September 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like this, the use of repetition is great!

    I think "exstinction" should be "extinction", well done with spelling and grammar apart from that!

    I like the continuous metaphor of the funeral, I think I'd have liked to see a little more on that, maybe likening to the bride going up the isle to a coffin going to a grave, or something about mourning... I don't know *shrug*

    Out of interest, was "They hide behind the stained-glass windows" inspired by one of te other titles or was that just by chance? Either way, I like how you used this.

    The 2 stanzas about girls/the bride knowing how to get what they want/need were quite similar, I might try to pick your favourite parts from these and make them into one stanza, possibly.

    I love the contrast between the beginning and the end, the reflection of the sentiments. Thanks for your entry and sticking to the rules, keep up the good work!


  • crystallynnbradford
    September 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I really like it and I am loving the fact that it is fresh and new and full of a certain charisma