He is magnificent
His laughter cascades over
Your body in golden waves
His compassion and sincerity
Is present in every gesture
His eyes are dazzling
Twinkling with a little mischief
He emanates splendid melodies
Through his fingertips
He walks with the
Confidence of a lion
He speaks with wisdom
Beyond his young years
If that boy doesn't
Inspire you,
Make you write poetry
I don't know who would
A contest entry
- Good Poetry by Lj-.
300 points, ended September 10, 2007, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspire ME by Death by Fire.
300 points, ended September 8, 2007, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-write Party 2 by DancingRed.
300 points, ended September 22, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
"If that boy doesn't
Inspire you,
Make you write poetry
I don't know who would"
-- ah, lovely mentioning of poetry and the muse. I think that's a fantastic way to describe someone.
I like how you said 'His laughter cascades', but I feel your piece could do with more metaphor or other poetic devices. Your vocabulary is quite good.
Thanks for entering.
DancingRed.
-
this is great and I love the images that went through my mind as I read this poem not once but twice.
Riftkin -
Haha, okay, okay, I get it.
But who said I wasn't writing poetry?
Just because it's not here doesn't mean it doesn't exist, am I right, sister? -
-
I know, I just havent seen it-hint a la hint. It wasnt all about him-quite a little exaggerated but def. inspired by it
-
-
wow
its sweet i like it -
Line nine:
"Though" I think you mean "Through"
Sweet words.
Thank you for entering,
Good luck. -
I like this poem. It flows nicely and the descriptions are very rich and vibrant. The persona of the person you describe is also rather captivating. Nice write!
-
-
Thank you!
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
