His cross is easy enough to bear,
We can carry it anywhere.
It is really very light,
the reason for this will come to sight.
He’s already paid my debt of shame,
which makes the load lighter.
He’s taken for what I was to blame,
cause He knows I’m not a fighter.
Yes, in sin I was born,
and for me He paid the price.
From damnation I was torn,
because HE could be so nice.
Yes, He has saved me from a dire fate,
One of which I must beware.
Because He has taken as HIS fate,
That horrible cross only HE can bear.
You see, He knew that I was weak,
So He, my sins did bear.
All I need do is seek,
That forgivness only HE can share.
Lord, I owe you more than life,
A debt I never can repay
You saved me from the devils strife,
you won’t let me go astray.
Lord Jesus, I love you!
Author notes
This is just about HIS strength and our weaknesses.
If it weren't for Jesus and his "self" sacrifice think of where we ALL would be.......
Someday, I must be a gold member, this was writen with the picture on the contest page above the poem....for inspiration...
A contest entry
- "Faith Seeker's Group" PIF Three Day Quicky Contest by Tabitha-Robin.
605 points, ended September 7, 2007, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want Gold Trophy Winners Judged by RedwingSpirit.
900 points, ended January 11, 2008, 58 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think, casualy or critically.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Me a poet-maybe Gramps this is a wonderful Poem How in the world did I ever miss it. Thank you for entering my contest I wish you the best of luck. Love Ya
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wow this was amazing!! COngrats on winning the contest!
Blessings,
~Michaela~
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Level 2 Requested
I've enclosed the words in brackets that I think need a change. In parentheses, an oopsie or skipped word
"His cross is easy enough to bear,
We can carry it anywhere.
It is really very light,
the reason for this will come to [sight.]<--- a bit forced for the sake of rhyming.
He’s already paid my debt of shame,
which makes the load lighter.
He’s taken for what I was to blame,
cause He knows I’m not a [fighter]. *not relative to the reason one's 'blamed'.
*[Yes],in sin I was born,..*a bit trite, not unique
and for me He paid the price.
From damnation I was torn,
because HE could be so nice.
*[Yes],He has saved me from a dire fate,*repeated
One of which I must (be)beware.
Because He has taken as HIS fate,
That horrible cross only HE can bear.
.........
*Lord, I owe you more than life,
A debt I never can repay
You saved me from the devil[']s strife,(apostrophe)
you[,]won’t let me go astray. comma, not needed.
General Suggestions:
I would count the iambs (unstressed/stressed syllables)
to give this lovely piece more flow and meter.
Otherwise, this is still a beauty.
Thank you for your trust! Warmly, CookieZeal/D
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How precious and GREAT a salvation!
Amen to your sweet poem of dedication.
*Critiques*
Due to its endearing content, I need a personal IM from you to critique this on Level 2.
Welcome to the site!
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I love your words and the truth they tell. This piece says so much about all the Lord has done for us. Wonderfully written! Many Blessings, FAH
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This was a very good poem you wrote. I really enjoyed reading this your message is so true. God says tha I will never leave you nor forsake you..good luck in the contest
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Lord, I owe you more than life,
A debt I never can repay
You saved me from the devils strife,
you,won’t let me go astray.
With Faith you write Truth, With Hope you write Life, With Love you write Jesus, With Grace and Mercy you write Salvation. This is wonderful, So deep and heartfelt, full of emotion. It is wonderful how the Spirit of God will give you such beautiful words to write in a time of need. God bless you in all that you do. Thank you for entering this contest. Good luck.
Tabitha
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