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...

we fill our canvases
with multiple images
and colors

we work for weeks
to capture a moment

yet there is
more beauty
more strength
in two brush strokes

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 31 of 31

  • AJ Morelli gold member
    September 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is a true as it is beautiful...


    al


  • EvilKate
    September 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The superficial simplicity of this is divine, with the complex metaphor and deeper image shining through brightly


  • Cat
    September 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    just a lovely write certainly
    equal to the two brush
    strokes of a painter's brush

    m

    • Redstormy gold member
      September 14, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      Thank you so much Mary Cat, I'm honored.

      Red


  • Timothy Cameron gold member
    September 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Keep your brush on the page, Zen Master Artist, until the painting is stroked by God's light & love.


  • leo2
    September 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The exit line got me to thinking that brush strokes aren't strictly reserved for canvas if you know what I mean. I'm never disappointed when I read your work. Good luck in the contest.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long


  • LovelyParadox
    September 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very powerful.

  • cherchezlafemme
    September 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is totally kewl i love that!! I paint and relate with the gestures large or small brushstrokes, like u said the evocation of joining sequences in short impulses of thoughts. I like you choose a black background. Gives more power to your poem. Very stimulating


  • Dragons Lady
    September 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    So much said in so few words. Wonderfully smooth flow with vivid imagery. I love it. Good luck in the contest.


  • RedSnow
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Great use of wording!!!

    I like this a lot! I'm a painter learning Sumi-e which is chinese brush painting in which your strokes are what is important. You use less strokes and it means a lot. Like this poem less words but it is very meaningful. This poem rocks! So does your name but I may be a little biased because our names are too similar! Hehe!

    Very nice,

    RedSnow


  • MidnightPoet545
    September 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Love the imagery

    Great piece of work. loved the imagery.

  • Pansophy
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Simple but pretty

    I like how the simplicity brings to mind the two brush strokes - it helps form that picture, that not everything needs to be fancy and complicated to be beautiful.


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful. More beauty, more strength in two brush stokes. Simple words but very very meaningful. Oh I did love this. I will have to check on this contest. Just beautiful. ~Pamela


  • Oisin silver member
    September 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Life, and it's simplicity. Two brush strokes as if one was to many. Very Neo

    or I could be full of shite


  • grannyeri gold member
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ... not sure what that means as a title, more to come perhaps? l liked the ending to this - brevity and precise words - flows well.


    • Redstormy gold member
      September 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks for asking

      Most Japanese writing are absent of titles.
      Since this is somewhat a zen writing I chose
      not to use a title.

  • Celestial1
    September 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I love this. Simply and sufficiently put. Sometimes, too many words can severely detract from the meaning.


  • Ray Von
    September 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Possibly colors could be colours?
    I love short poems that leave you stunned!! And this one surely did! So poewerful, such strong meaning, without using that many words.
    Amazing.
    Good luck in the contest.
    Maria


    • Redstormy gold member
      September 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Ray

      I think the word Colors or Colours is one of those
      words that is spelled differently here in the US.
      I'm not sure but I think it's spelled colours
      in the UK

      Red


      • Ray Von
        September 5, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        yes that is why i said possibly, because I wasn't sure if in the US it was spelt differently. Yeah, over here its spelt colours


  • yourhot21
    September 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    hmm

    I lk this! It was really good and sorda made me think!


  • liltandrhyme silver member
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very concise and succinct write - mirroring it's own theme of 'less is more', which was cleverly done.

    The wording and flow were excellent - a small and humble suggestion, I think "there is" rather than "there's" would strengthen the final stanza considerably.

    Best of luck in the contest

    PJ


  • Ariosto II. gold member
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is very ZEN of you!

    I've found a work looks best when it's 10%finished and I spend the other 90% trying to get that good again.

    neat piece


    • Redstormy gold member
      September 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you David

      You got it!! Have you ever read Gary Snyder?
      I'm a huge fan of his work, I think you would
      like it as well.

      Red


  • Night Hope gold member
    September 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Simplicity & brevity have more effect than the longest of speeches. Lovely, my Friend. Good luck in Al's contest, Sweetie. Wanda

  • Pari Ali
    September 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    so true


  • Grunts Girl silver member
    September 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    we fill our lives with so much... fluff really...
    when all we really need are smaller things that have more meaning...
    enjoyed this


  • Dienush
    September 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I like this. So simple and true. We try to capture a small moment to recreate the beauty in something short, with sophisticated artwork or words, when something so short and simple is what we really should aim for.

1 - 31 of 31