with multiple images
and colors
we work for weeks
to capture a moment
yet there is
more beauty
more strength
in two brush strokes
In a list
A contest entry
- momiji by AJ Morelli.
1300 points, ended September 24, 2007, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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this is a true as it is beautiful...
al -
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Thank you Al
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The superficial simplicity of this is divine, with the complex metaphor and deeper image shining through brightly


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just a lovely write certainly
equal to the two brush
strokes of a painter's brush
m -
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Thank you
Thank you so much Mary Cat, I'm honored.
Red
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Keep your brush on the page, Zen Master Artist, until the painting is stroked by God's light & love.

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The exit line got me to thinking that brush strokes aren't strictly reserved for canvas if you know what I mean. I'm never disappointed when I read your work. Good luck in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long

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Very powerful.

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This is totally kewl i love that!! I paint and relate with the gestures large or small brushstrokes, like u said the evocation of joining sequences in short impulses of thoughts. I like you choose a black background. Gives more power to your poem. Very stimulating


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So much said in so few words. Wonderfully smooth flow with vivid imagery. I love it. Good luck in the contest.


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Great use of wording!!!
I like this a lot! I'm a painter learning Sumi-e which is chinese brush painting in which your strokes are what is important. You use less strokes and it means a lot. Like this poem less words but it is very meaningful. This poem rocks! So does your name but I may be a little biased because our names are too similar! Hehe!
Very nice,
RedSnow


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Love the imagery
Great piece of work. loved the imagery.
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Simple but pretty
I like how the simplicity brings to mind the two brush strokes - it helps form that picture, that not everything needs to be fancy and complicated to be beautiful. -
Beautiful. More beauty, more strength in two brush stokes. Simple words but very very meaningful. Oh I did love this. I will have to check on this contest. Just beautiful. ~Pamela


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Life, and it's simplicity. Two brush strokes as if one was to many. Very Neo
or I could be full of shite
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... not sure what that means as a title, more to come perhaps? l liked the ending to this - brevity and precise words - flows well.
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Thanks for asking
Most Japanese writing are absent of titles.
Since this is somewhat a zen writing I chose
not to use a title. -
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LOL!
I didn't even see your Zen comment before I made mine! :-)
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I love this. Simply and sufficiently put. Sometimes, too many words can severely detract from the meaning.
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Possibly colors could be colours?
I love short poems that leave you stunned!! And this one surely did! So poewerful, such strong meaning, without using that many words.
Amazing.
Good luck in the contest.
Maria -
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Ray
I think the word Colors or Colours is one of those
words that is spelled differently here in the US.
I'm not sure but I think it's spelled colours
in the UK
Red -
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yes that is why i said possibly, because I wasn't sure if in the US it was spelt differently. Yeah, over here its spelt colours
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hmm
I lk this! It was really good and sorda made me think! -
Very concise and succinct write - mirroring it's own theme of 'less is more', which was cleverly done.
The wording and flow were excellent - a small and humble suggestion, I think "there is" rather than "there's" would strengthen the final stanza considerably.
Best of luck in the contest
PJ

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Thank You
yes I think you're right about that.
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this is very ZEN of you!
I've found a work looks best when it's 10%finished and I spend the other 90% trying to get that good again.
neat piece

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Thank you David
You got it!! Have you ever read Gary Snyder?
I'm a huge fan of his work, I think you would
like it as well.
Red
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Simplicity & brevity have more effect than the longest of speeches. Lovely, my Friend. Good luck in Al's contest, Sweetie.
Wanda


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so true


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we fill our lives with so much... fluff really...
when all we really need are smaller things that have more meaning...
enjoyed this

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I like this. So simple and true. We try to capture a small moment to recreate the beauty in something short, with sophisticated artwork or words, when something so short and simple is what we really should aim for.























