Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Earthen Treasure




Dive with me in
snorkeled amazement allowing
fins to flutter through
coral canyons hidden in

Poseidon's realm.


Dance upon heated ripples of
Oz's coast dressed in
the mosaic hues of nature's bounty;

where segregation is nonexistent

and harmony is sung within aquatic echos.




Author notes

Prompt: "Let's find a secret place in the sun"

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • ms-cuddles silver member
    October 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    I just loved this. It was a pleasure to read and something we all wish were true. I love this background and just everything. Writes like this make my job hard. Thank you for entering and good luck. Hugs~ Cuddles


  • Hetha gold member
    September 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! This is very impressive! I like how it pulled me in, and kept me going to the end. The words flow like your background, and trickle nicely down the page. I especially liked the message in your ending couplet. I like your vocabulary choice, as it adds much more meaning in fewer words. Quite impressive! I enjoyed reading this very much. Best of luck in the contest!


  • leander Moderators member
    September 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Well, you have shown me this secret place in the sun and what a beautiful one it is

    I'm going to fiddle a bit with this poem, as in shoving the words around a bit:


    Dive with me
    in snorkeled amazement,
    allowing fins
    to flutter through coral canyons,
    hidden in

    Poseidon's realm.


    Dance,
    upon heated ripples
    of Oz's coast,
    dressed in the mosaic hues
    of nature's bounty;

    where segregation is nonexistent

    and harmony is sung
    within aquatic echos.

    Again, this is how I'd put this and dang it, what an inspiration you have I wish I was able to write such beauties

    lol





  • Moons Lunar Angel
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Exquisite

    OOOOOOOOOOW LOVE IT!!!!! Ok let's g pwitty pwease can we go now ?!!!!!! *jumps up and down* PLEAAAAASEEEEE
    Well done mum,
    Love you


  • Tangled Angle
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The allusions worked really well in this, and gave the poem so much more meaning.. in just one word each. Excellent word choice, and excellent poem. Congrats on your bronze.


  • kaibab silver member
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Love is such a perfect world...when eyes are dream to feather escape...away from what is never real...leaving strret to find a footprint...

    lovely friend


  • jasminerose
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A beautiful and excellent entry for this contest! Outstanding imagery and love the words you chose!!
    I wish you all the best in the contest!


  • poetryality silver member
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is elegant. I missed the contest! I hope you win. This splashes over me with waves of allure and soft, silken wonder. Very beautiful sweetheart. Gotta run and take Shelli to work be back in a few.

    Always ♥

    Mom


  • poet2angels gold member
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my...You people are doing it again! This is another fantastic write....The competition grows....Amazing!

    Lynda

  • poet2angels gold member
    September 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    prompt is:

    "Let's find a secret place in the sun"

    or

    the pic above


  • kaibab silver member
    September 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I feel your silence
    as golden inspiration
    filling lung to effervescent inhalation,
    little ones in lunches bagged,
    leaving Mom, to sigh in feather's...

1 - 11 of 11