She is breath of hush in Autumn meadow,
this cooler wind of clammy morning
spinning hollow inspiration
for what is dew in season ending.
I have felt in skin,
bones too lonely,
knowing love, so close to freezing,
when youthful dream, is blowing yellow
in slivered hopelessness, to wither,
clinging fast, on naked branch.
A contest entry
- Autumn Dew Memories ~ PIF quickie by Namita.
300 points, ended September 7, 2007, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
Powerfully written; your words are so beautifully poetic.
Congrats on winning gold.
DancingRed.
-
wow...this is such a fanstastic poem...with a rare imagination presented by beautiful and graceful words...your captivating poem penetrated deep inside my skin...and up to my bones...


-
A real beauty. The phrasing and rhythm are, as usual, gorgeous and evocative, but what i like most about this particular piece are those two lines:
I have felt skin,
bones too lonely
I like them for two reasons, for one they are such a unique way to describe your recognition and interaction with loneliness. But I also like how the are separated not only into their own stanza, but they are a break in the normal rhythm, even further emphasizing their significance and beauty.
You have done some other wonderful things including some internal rhyming and exquisite emotive description. Love it as usual!!!!

-
.


-
Beautifully penned,
"when youthful dream, is blowing yellow
in slivered hopelessness, to wither,
clinging fast, on naked branch"
Such beauty and gorgeousness... Wonderful penning. Thanxx for sharing and good luck in my contest,
Luv,
Candy
-
"when youthful dream, is blowing yellow
in slivered hopelessness, to wither,
clinging fast, on naked branch."
I know the feeling of lonely bones too well, my Friend. The branch is only naked through the winter, Sweetie. Spring always comes again, bearing vividly colorful clothes. Beautifully done, Scribe. Good luck in the contest.
Wanda


-
Powerful imagery and symbolism.


1 - 7 of 7







