bursts of flame's glory
in moments before
ember fades and dies
exhausted;
exothermic
energy
explodes -
Magdala Red
and Magnesium Orange -
the colours of a soul
Author notes
Picture: Urban_Dragon_by_DarkGearSuperSpammer.jpg
In a list
A contest entry
- momiji by AJ Morelli.
1300 points, ended September 24, 2007, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-write Party by DancingRed.
300 points, ended September 21, 2007, 25 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~~~THE PROMPT CHALLENGE #1 ~~~ by phoenixonfire.
300 points, ended March 23, 2008, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite Plethora by TheDemonEve.
1100 points, ended May 30, 2008, 47 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - New here...first contest by willowwisp.
400 points, ended December 18, 2008, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - all the prewrites you want (theres a catch) by serenity silvermoon.
400 points, ended January 7, 299 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Short and painful by xXtired-of-cryingXx.
590 points, ended May 12, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What haven't I read yet? by Antebellum.
500 points, ended August 4, 82 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Okay...so this is what I like!
Make that...enjoy muchly!!! Thanks for entering ...I look forward to reading more of your work!
Write on and on!
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I love the words you used in this piece. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
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This is a great write, thank you for entering the contest. Good luck.
♥
whisper
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ah the colours of a soul can be very deceiving to people, even ourselves - a good poem here though ui would never have given it a gold but i am not others i am not saying it is a bad poem just i would not have given it the gold going from what i see right now before my eyes.
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this is rather good, it is short and you did an amazing job, i rather like the long words in the middle stanza alot, all my love, best of luck in the contest,
kitty xxx -
I admit I don't care for the list of 'e's in the middle -
but thats personal preference.
That aside, it is short and concise and the words are well placed -
Awesome!!
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Thank you for this exellent write
All the best in conest
Blessings
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Wonderful description, the colours and mood of this piece are pleasing to the poetic pallet. My favourite part was the last line. Very explosive and very well-written for so short a piece. Well done.
Best of luck and thanks for entering!
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Fantastis! Ur refrences and ur word usages...excellent! this is such a powerful write!!! The bg distracts but I know why u used it..so no issues..
Thanks for entering and good luck!
pri...
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Brilliant - the type of poetry that leaves me speechless...
Each word is raw, vivid, and gives so much to your overall piece - there's no chaffy words for filling space.
I love the alliteration and short line lengths - it really lends itself to this fast-paced piece.
Magdala - with biblical connotations that's a magnificent descriptor to couple with the colour red. Just looking it up now, I see 'Magdala' means 'tower' -- I like how that ties in with the strength and magnificence of red.
Thanks very much for entering.
DancingRed. -
Oh, I like this very much...
a wonderful entry, thank so much...
al -
I love the clever alliteration of the 2nd stanza. To weave such a consequence of syllables to flow that well - truly clever
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i do love that you are out and about and writing such masterpieces again- your energy is wonderful
i love the final two stanzas here-
the colours of a soul
is absolutely wonderful- a great metaphor for the dying process and the freeing of one's soul from the confines of human fraility
the only thing i would change- i would dump the word radiant..
but this is wonderful
m -
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Thanks Mary.
This was a very personal write. I was reluctant to make a change - you will know that it has taken some time for me to move from the florid and verbose to the tighter write, and I had already cut the original version by about 50%.
I've tried your suggestion, and I do think it is an improvement. I have learned that grief cannot be written just the once. Thanks again.
PJ
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Excellent vocab and gorgeous imagery.A beautiful write.
Helen
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I like the alliteration in the middle of
this piece and the names that you've given your chosen shades of orange and read... quite creative... the staccato lines lend a very unique rhythm to this piece...
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I liked magnesium orange.... scientifically cool
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