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Echoing Into the Void

echo





























                                                        echo                                   






























                                                                            echo



































                                                                                                                          echo

























                                                                                          echo





























                                                      echo































  echo








































echo

into the void


































emotions
    draining



























      thoughts
  pouring



































then
dripping



                                                                                                                   
























dripping



                                                                                                                       

























dripping



                                                                                                             





















collecting
like echoes in the void





























soon an ocean



































then a shore


















let us pause on the precipice-
behold the stinging silence...






































































I'm so glad you're here...




































come, take my hand

            together

                        into the void we can fall
                                                                     
and dwell with





























words

































                      thoughts


























      emotions




























                                                                                    images


























          senses







echoing































                                                        echoing








































                                                                                            echoing



































                                                                                                  echoing

















                            echoing
































                                                          echoing





































                                        echoing
































































                into the void























































































Author notes

Hey! Look what I did to the comments section!
I hope this was fun for you...
and I hope you found your way out of the void
unscathed

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • Namita
    October 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Awesome! What an interesting format. I wonder why I hadn't commented... this is beautiful!!


    • wbiro gold member
      October 1, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      awe, thanks; and how do you like the tiniest comment you'll ever see!


  • Arsenic-
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Briliant

    Woosh...that was the sound of my breath being taken away. This is one of the most "wow" poems I've looked at (wouldn't really say read) in a long time. Well done, very well done.


  • Random Goldfish gold member
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my God! The print is so tiny that I actually had to go find my glasses...this was a great poem though...after I could see it! Haha...


  • tanzanite
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Fantastic

    Words fail



    fail



    fall



    into the void ...

    Wonderful work. Inspiring concept. Thoroughly deserving of a gold.


  • misticmoonlite gold member
    September 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    lol...well wbiro,an inspiring post here,I was falling for it..lol good job...a gold? very nice


    • wbiro gold member
      September 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thanks, but that does't keep one from tinkering with it...

  • zorman32
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Awesome!

    I looked at the number of lines and thought...no friggin way I'm gonna read this all. What a delightful romp through the human circumstance of solitude and connections made through the experience, wonderfully done!!!


  • Dragons Lady
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting approach. I had to keep reading to find out where it ended. I love the way you have done this piece, as if echoing into a nothingness. Well done.


  • luna-midnight gold member
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow i love this, it kept me intrested, i love the way you drp the words, and change the sizes every once and a while
    i love how you say wwe are falling with the words it's quite beautiful!
    great job!
    stephanie
    good luck with the contest


  • Figg
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    My hand is now dead from all the scrolling, but I must say, it was well worth it! I love the placement that you put into this poem, so that it wasn't just an echo in word but it resounded within the mind as well. Interesting style! <3


  • CarolDesjarlais silver member
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    What an experience this poem is.... a new form? Absolute sensory poetry!!!!!! this is gold, I tells yah...goold... if only we had some deep bass contemporary music to go with it... it would simply stun everyone silent and make that echo.


  • vici377
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    excellent read

    I see why you did the falling in to the void with actually falling... but it was so irritating scrolling down...lol..but absolutely love the poem

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Full marks for trying something different and being daring,sometimes as writers we need to get out of the box and bring something different to the table and that itself takes a certain degree of courage.
    For me the spaces were too far apart,the smallest print was hard to read on this background and I was not lost within a void as much as squinting close to the screen so as to not miss any inflection.


  • checkmate
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Fantastic. Loved the awesome read!

    Best of luck


  • B Chandler
    September 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    why you gotta make this ten years long wayne lol love the thought of it though


  • wendy
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was quite a different message from what I expected, but I'm pretty sure that's what you were trying do. Interesting concpet.


  • LovelyParadox
    September 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Oustandingly Creative

    Very cool form you have here. I very much enjoyed reading this.

  • tara wilson gold member
    September 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful background now, the timing of the words on the page is at a perfect interval..

  • tara wilson gold member
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    WOW...this is certainly different, I think words, thoughts and emotions do this though, echo, yes...this is an interesting presentation of poetry

1 - 21 of 21