I do not need
to see by moon’s light,
to reach out
and hold your hand.
In the dead of night
at the darkest of hours,
without thought, I know
your eyes are upon me.
In silent, stilled slumber,
all that I can hear
is the gentle rhythm,
beating your hearts love.
How different would
then, life have been,
had not your love inflamed
and chosen not to stay.
Even with eyes averted,
can you feel my smile?
Can you not hear
the racing of my breath?
Author notes
I don't often write like this, nor cover this subject, but wanted to try something different.
In a list
A contest entry
- thank you for staying... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
400 points, ended September 9, 2007, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ♥Love♥ by OurxBeginning.
300 points, ended September 19, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Romance..................................... by Entwining Beauty.
300 points, ended October 6, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write a poem to be read at my wedding. by tinuelena.
900 points, ended September 23, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show Me The LOVE!!!!!! by -CrimsonTears-.
550 points, ended October 14, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter All Your Love Writes Here! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended March 8, 2008, 306 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
-
I like this. It made me sigh in the middle, which is a nice feeling, as the last one I read was a little sad
-
-
Thank you very much. It is kind of a 'sigher' isn't it. Again, with this one, was something I had to get out, couldn't leave those thoughts and feelings inside.
-
-
i love the last line
-
-
Thank you very much. Everything for this piece came together quite quickly.
-
-
nicely done....i think it is amazing....great work
good job and good luck in the contest -
-
Thanks. Whether or not I consider this to be a good piece, for me, it was a piece worth writing.
-
-
wow this is amazingly done very beautifully penned good luck
-
-
Thank you. It was a pleasure to write and to let the person who was the inspiration for it read it.
-
-
wow this is amazingly done very beautifully penned good luck
-
oh wow this is amazing so much emotion passionate through out what a beautiful poem thank you
-
-
Thank you very much. A little piece of light amongst my usual darkness.
-
-
The third stanza was remarkable… it could be one of the most noteworthy remarks on your piece. I truly loved it so much! Love is really a subject matter wherein you can write tons and tons of stuff and always end up with something emotional! I enjoyed the read and congratz with winning! You deserved it!
Cheers
-Blanche
-
-
Thank you very much. I've always felt that I'm better at writing lost love pieces, I always felt a bit awkward with "love" pieces, like the words just didn't fit right, or could never actually equal what I was ever feeling. But yeah, I can see your point, they are always very emotional.
-
-
Even with eyes averted
Can you feel my smile?
Can you not hear
The racing of my breath?
Humm ..very powerful expression especially in the last three lines..you did wonders..thanks for the entry in my contest...
-
-
Thank you very much. I wasn't expecting it to come out as well as it did.
-
-
"How different would
Then, life have been
Had not your love inflamed
And chosen not to stay"
Solid write, loved the diction and voice in this piece.
-
-
Thank you. I always found it hard expressing love moreso than other emotions.
-
-
Well, I must say for not being your format it's not too bad at all, I really admire the wording used to paint this great piece, so filled with images of sweet love. Thank you for entering, and best of luck in the contest
MxA
-
-
Thank you. As I said elsewhere, it's not something I cover often, but when writing it, it came far easier than I thought it would.
-
-
Inimitable love poetry i am breathless completely! Images of true love such as these -
To see by moon’s light
To reach out
And hold your hand
All that I can hear
Is the gentle rhythm
Beating your hearts love
These are real symptoms of love shared by the same beat. Love is here to stay! The expressions are whole. This is framed on my wall. Too beautiful!
-
-
Thank you very much. It was something I have felt all along, but for far too long, wouldn't or couldn't say it to who mattered the most.
-
-
This was very sweet and filled with love. I liked the message you conveyed in it's simplicity. I can relate very much so, love is amazing. Thanks for entering and good luck.
-
-
Thank you. It was a nice change of pace.
-
-
Well this very good, especially if it isn't your usual format.
"I do not need
To see by moon’s light
To reach out
And hold your hand"
I love that stanza, it is possibly one of the most beautiful things I've heard in forever.
-
-
Thank you. As I said, love isn't my usual subject and often find it quite hard to write about (now, lost love, that's a different matter). Though, for this, all I had to do was look across the room and all my inspiration was right there for me.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 25 of 25
