Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Passion aint Love.

Paint me no more poems in praise of Passion:
That passion's the height of love I would contest -
Passion's not love writ large, but something other -
With passion we're afflicted, with love blessed.

Passion's high's a downer, it's the lightning
That flares its force then leaves the night more dark.
Love is the always moon though skies may thunder,
Passion is the Flood while love's the Ark.

Passion's a whirlpool, giddying, self-centred
While love flows out to where two waters meet.
Love is the gentle warmth by which fruits ripen -

Passion is a burst of scorching heat.

Passion breaks the boundaries -

     Lovers have none.  

Passion is possessive -
    Lovers share.
Passion wants it now 

    While love is patient.

Passion's all fire and smoke

    And love, fresh air.

 

So, paint me no more poems in praise of Passion -

in love we're tipsy, passion gets us pissed.

Passion is a shout -

    Love is a whisper.

So - paint me a whisper

And you're on my 'Favourites List'.      
 

Author notes

In response to your poem "Desire, Lust, Love, Hate"
(jimmy20johns)

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 34 of 34
  • XxLoverOfDarknessxX
    July 8

    Edit | Reply
    This was amazing! I loved reading this! WOW! AMAZING! i loved your take on passion! keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!

  • ecrivain01
    October 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Not bad ...

    and certainly head and shoulders above everything I've read that's been submitted thus far. I think here you need a comma:


    Passion's all fire and smoke

    And love(,) fresh air.

    All in all, good job.

    Thanks for entering.


  • GypsyEyes
    July 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i love the way you formated this poem! wonderful job! thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! ~CarnalNineTailedFox


  • kel dog
    June 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is great. i love it.


  • BlackSwan
    June 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting outlook on passion!
    Very well done

    -GL in contest

  • Fitz1901
    June 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I loved this, it had a great flow, amazing images, etc. I personally would change the last line but the rest of the poems so good I can basically overlook it.

    great poem, thanks for entering


  • Intricate Wordsmith
    June 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    If you are going to enter my contest I would appreciate it if you would follow the rules. You are lacking in your Author's Notes:
    ~Main Idea of the Poem
    ~Any further explanation as to why you choose that subject (not required, but it helps)
    ~Tell if it is supposed to rhyme or not


  • Blissfullhatred silver member
    May 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    god that was good

  • Virgoan
    April 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i like everything except the last stanza.

    for now, a finalist

    thanks for sharing and keep writing.

    HENSLEY


  • BloodyCrystalEmbers
    March 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Very interesting...

    I rather liked this piece,and yes I can see similarities to my own poem,yet you took yours in a whole other direction than mine,and I like your fresh outlook,the wording in this was very clever,and I too liked the metaphors and contradictions,plus it had great imagery...I think the last stanza stood out to me the most,I really like the passion is a shout love is a whisper thing,it definitely hit it's mark,great piece,made me think...Superb penning...




    ~BCE~


  • shuvi
    March 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Yeah, I like those contradictions.

    much luck, shuvi


  • JinSays gold member
    March 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So, paint me no more poems in praise of Passion -
    in love we're tipsy, passion gets us pissed.
    Passion is a shout -
    Love is a whisper.
    So - paint me a whisper
    And you're on my 'Favourites List'.

    TOUCHE!!!

    Wonderful! I agree with everything you say, though at this stage in my life, I WANT PASSION!!!..love is great for Sunday Morning, LOL..
    I'm kidding. Passion gets us pissed, amen!
    It does other things too. Passion and Love are not the same, and you can feel one without the other, but it's not much fun, at least not for me. I can do without the possession thing too.Fantastic write, worthy of much more than a silly contest!
    Thank you for taking the time to enter, and best of luck to you!
    Jin

    P.S.-Word count? As long as it's under 300, no worries..thanks again!


  • Sagerider
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Absolutely Great

    Profound,Very deep and thought provoking, a little change at the end and it could rival Shelly or Keats. Of course passion can be great fun though as you said it can leave you a little empty at the end. This is just grand.


  • N e a r
    February 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love how you described passion in here, and also how you added a little touch of AP in the ending line. I felt this poem was extraordinarily clever. (If that is even a word, LOL.) Amazing job.

    Thanks for sharing & entering your write in A N Y T H I N G ~ G O E S ! Good luck!

    M a r l u x i a


  • Oktobere Sahnge
    December 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Love the last line =]

    ~Technical Criticism:
    'Passion's ' should be 'Passions' '
    ~Favorite Line:
    'Passion is the flood and love the ark.': Very good, strong contrast. Especially after the stanza.
    ~Overall:
    Original. The last line was slightly comedic also, made me smile. Brought on fresh thoughts.

    Good luck,
    Lysander
    <3


  • SilverInk
    November 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Ha...ha...this...was....AWESOME! I started reading it and really didn't know what to think, but man was I thrilled to finish it! ^-^ I think i'm going to have to favorite this one *bookmarks*. And I must say I completely agree with everything you wrote about love vs. passion. I really loved the clever metaphors, particularly that of the moon and lightning. Very clever. I wish I could do that >.> haha. Anyhow, good good good GOOD job!


  • passionate demise
    November 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    I liked it. ^^

    I thought it was really good. Though I personally believe that love is more interesting with just a hint of passion.


  • jcat gold member
    October 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    interesting use of metaphors... great poem. thank you for entering and good luck!


  • Oedhel
    October 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Results...

    Originality: 3/4 Love poems, but you took it in an original direction.
    Rhythm: 3/4 The first half the poem lacks a rhythm but it developes in the second half.
    Wording: 4/4 Very nice wording.
    Ease of Reading: 4/4 It read very well.
    Final Score: 14/16 Very nice poem.
    For a more extensive critique contact me after the close of the contest.


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    October 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Perfect!


  • 2lullabyhaven
    October 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, love the distinction portrayed in this, thanks for your entry into my contestlol


  • lee-sharp
    October 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    no


  • warrior-eagle
    October 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Like i said before: awesome.


  • warrior-eagle
    October 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Passion breaks the boundaries -

    Lovers have none.

    Passion is possessive -
    Lovers share.
    Passion wants it now

    While love is patient.

    Passion's all fire and smoke

    And love fresh air.


    I love that stanza which I quoted above.This poem is awesome as it tells the reader the difference between passion and love. I love this poem. Its actually pretty awesome.Nice job.


  • Celticmoon
    September 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This piece is very different from the rest of the entries thus far. I can't say this was what I had in mind with such a prompt but then I cannot say it wasn't either. It's originality has earned its stay. Thank you for entering and good luck!


    Blessings
    Bel


  • They Say Shannon
    September 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I did like the first line a lot.
    It was very strong, and a great way to start off a piece!

    "love the ark."
    Hmm.
    That sort of confused me?
    They way it is written and punctuated it seems as if you are telling me to love an ark?

    The ending was witty and cute. :]
    A few of your metaphors were used nicely as well including the two waters meeting.

    Well done and thank you for entering!
    Good luck. <


    • jimmy20johns gold member
      September 12, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Hi. Thanks for your nice comment. It concerns me that the line ' Passion is the deluge, love the ark' was unclear to you. I've re-phrased it now to ' Passion is the flood and Love the ark.' Is that clearer? Thanks again. jimmy


      • They Say Shannon
        September 13, 2007

        Edit | Reply
        If love is supposed to BE the arc as in a simile type of thing, then you should include a comma after love.

        "Love, the arc."

        Because when it is one sentance it is sounding like you are trying to tell me to show affection to the arc, like,
        "Love your mom, Love the dog, Love the earth."
        Or something.

        Not that the item IS love, you see?


        • jimmy20johns gold member
          September 13, 2007
          Edit | Reply
          Thanks. I did understand (the absence of the comma was actually a typo) but, having my attention drawn to that line, I felt it had an air of pedantry which I feel the new line avoids.
          Thanks again for giving time to this piece, I really do appreciate it. Cheers. jimmy


  • Death by Fire
    September 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    That flares its force and leaves the night more dark.
    i just love that line....its really kewl...overall the poem was good though


  • Justified Inc.
    September 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Lovely

    Yes. Thankyou. The lightening, that flares it's force and leaves the night more dark............captured my mind and senses."Love is the always moon, though skies may thunder" I am reassured now. Thankyou for your poem and thanks be, for me finding it. It was beautiful.
    Castaway

1 - 34 of 34