lunch room lady sits
pearched atop her wooden stool-
swollen feet are sore
or- reduced for a more clean, modern version:
lunch lady
atop her stool-
sore feet
In a list
A contest entry
- School-ku by azure85.
800 points, ended September 15, 2007, 24 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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heheh
Sore feet from kickin' butts of smarmy little brats that won't eat what's put in front of them! Gosh, I remember those old ironclads sitting in the lunchroom when I was a kid. Sure don't make 'em like they used to. Now their sore feet are probably from just standing too long!
Oh, er, P.S. -- Thanks for adding me to your list of Faves!
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Thanks for the comment and the cute little clappy faces.
qt
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we need to be proud of all the lunch ladies and lunch-men! an eye-opening dedication.. (sounds too dramatic don't it? )
lovely haiku.. and i prefer the second version because the first seems wordy.. the second is concise.
yay! for bronze!
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Oh, the poor lunch lady-and she works hard at her job too! Where would we be without her! Grand job on the haiku, and the revision too!
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Poor wee thing ...I remember the lunch lady we had at school, if she liked you, you got double helpings...if not, a plate full of gravy
Clever haiku, both versions 
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