Day by day I go on with living and faking a smile
While looking at the blood coming down my wrist I wonder
Who made me live in a dream where it’s the only place I don’t fall under
Holding all the plan, and the lost and making it pile
telling myself it’s only for a little while
Compressing it all makes me feel like a boy afraid of thunder
Heart mind and body torn asunder
I keep putting myself in trial
This blade it my only reality from what people see
my right arm is the pain I hold in
It feels good to let the pain go away
This blade helps to bring my me out once it touch my skin
While the blood comes down I ask god why me
why does all my happiness fade away
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Beauitul.And true to many people.Sadly I was one of those people,until God saved me from it.
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Quite interesting. Very descriptive. The coloring you chose for a background and the words also helps to add to the effect. I love how the whole poem is one moment in time. It is like thoughts which are running at a million miles a second, because that is the space of time your poem appears to take place in. One heartbeat. I especially like the fact that you did not start with him holding the blade, then cutting, then dying, then dead. (sorry sounds really brutal) you have a unique ending as you did not end with his death, but rather you started and finished with the same thought, the blood running down his wrist. I personally don't think your title works very well, as it is just a repetition of the first line, and doesn't really add anything to the piece. Overall a very catching, powerful poem. Great job!
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thank you for the comment and i changed the title
idk but i think its better then the 1st one lol
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