The snow falls outside my
window, all fluffy and white.
The world grows cold and
sleeps, with darkness all over.
But do I mind? No, I don't
mind, The snow is pretty.
The white blanket catches the
sunlight and sparkles.
As I sit in my bedroom, I am
reminded of your eyes.
Your eyes have that same
glitter, the same loving shine.
As I gaze at the world, I
am thinking of you.
You and your sparkling snowy eyes.
Author notes
I wrote this about winter one day. I was looking at the snow and thinking about my boyfriend and, well...tada.
A contest entry
- Love Dedications by Blooming Poet.
440 points, ended January 3, 2008, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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What a sweet "tada" that you ended up with...so romantic! A really enjoyable read.
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Ooh. Wow. This is really pretty. I like the fact that you asked a question and answered it in your poem. I also like the fact that you compared snow and eyes. It's not a very common comparison, and I think you did a really good job with it. Awesome write. Alyssa
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Good romantic poem!
I love poetry and i really love romantic poetry! Your's was sweet and cute, love the metaphors! big thing for me, great stuff!!! one question... does he have white eyes? lol... that was dumb, Just Joking -
Beautifully worded. This piece is simply stunning. Gorgeous imagery and I love the creative phrasing. Love the ending. Very captivating. Good luck in the contest you entered and thanks for sharing.
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I love this poem. I love the idea of mixing the snow outside with your love and feelings for your boyfriend.If you didn''t know i am doing this contest to find the way to say I miss you or I am thinking about you to my boyfriend. This is an amazing poem to say that. I guarentee this poem will be strongly considered in my contest. I have added you as a preliminary finalist. Congrats
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Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it! I feel honored to me a prelim finalist. I hope you can find the right poem for your boyfriend.
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Such an amazing poem. You connect how you feel for someone, with snow I could never do that and make a good poem. It is great. You should enter my contest, Love Dedications.
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I like the idea of comparing snow to eyes, but I do agree with review who stated that comparing snow to eyes is cliched. Your poem shows that you love your boyfriend and it also shows you have creative ability; I bet you could come up with something completely new.
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My favorite lines are "the world grows cold and sleeps with darkness all over", beautiful write and nice tribute to your boyfriend.
sincerely,
sassy
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"The white blanket catches the
sunlight and sparkles."
I like how you say that the snow "catches" sunlight. Comparing it to a white blanket, however, is cliched; I've read the same description so many other times.
It's nice, albeit shallow in presentation, but is a fleeting glimpse of the connections between a loved one's eyes and snow.
--Cristina -
I must say this poem is very cute. I like how the second line contrasts with rest of the poem -- it gives the feel that the rest of the people in the world are cold and live in the dark, while you can only see the light because of the love you share. Nice poem.
-Meg
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There is such a positive energy and it seems to speak of beauty and longing......however these two lines made me think of death and darkness:
~The world grows cold and
sleeps, with darkness all over.~
Quite a stark contrast to the rest of the poem, and it is just the sort of thing I love in a poem. It is just a subtle hint, inuendo, that taints the whole poem with a suspicion. If that was your intent, WELL DONE!!
bye,
until immolation,
homewrecker
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Your eyes have that same
glitter, the same loving shine.
As I gaze at the world, I
am thinking of you.
You and your sparkling snowy eyes.
I do agree that it is nature which can be one with us becoming a mate of the soul while revealing its truth..I love this piece..and you did a master crafting here especially in the end you are wonderful and imaginative poet....well done..
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