I peek out my living room window;
the postman draws near my door.
Still dressed in my pajamas;
The clock clicks a quarter past four.
No, I’m not watching Oprah;
folding laundry fresh from the line.
I’m seeking a piece of perfection,
I’m seeking that perfect rhyme.
I’ve haven’t taken a shower
in three days, maybe four.
Laundry grows like a beanstalk
on my basement floor.
Take out and TV dinners
the menu for each day.
This puzzle must piece together
each hour I fretfully pray.
Then I start to ponder
And mull over the cost-
of my need for perfect rhyme,
how much have I lost?
My husband is downhearted,
dread greets me every day.
Is finding that piece of perfection
worth the price I pay?
Author notes
This is a metaphor for my life. Rhyme is currently a metaphor for my pixelation obsession - gotta make it perfect. I have found it's not worth the price.I tend to get stuck on one small aspect of life to the detriment of everything else.
A contest entry
- The POD ~ by Arkbear.
300 points, ended September 4, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A chance for gold by Virgoan.
500 points, ended September 24, 2007, 54 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Upgrade your Honorable Mention to Gold Silver or Bronze (contest by sinnastarr) by Sinnastarr.
700 points, ended November 5, 2007, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Group Contest: Perspective by Sandal.
600 points, ended November 18, 2007, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Obsession by glued-to.
1000 points, ended January 12, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me your best! by genevieve3.
600 points, ended February 17, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~ pre-writes ~ by LadyUnique.
300 points, ended May 8, 66 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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being a perfectionist myself i got a kick out of this
trying to do everything 'right' is so damn draining. i'm not as perfect as i once was and that's okay.... most of the time 
thanks for entering and good luck
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this is the metafor of my life no doubut!
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i like how this flows and how it reads. also the use of real life and common imagery makes for a very down to earth piece. good writ
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I know the feeling only too well. I love the laundry growing like a beanstalk. I wish I had a basement .... mine just piles up in the laundry room...sigh. This is a piece of perfection showing your feelings well.
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Oh Joyce this is one unique write you've got here!!
the things we poets trade off for penning some new idea that pops in our head just amazes me lol.
I was hoping I wasn't the only one!!!
no wonder you have three tropghies for this one! Wow!!!!
I just love it
GBY
SilverButterfly
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Once you put behaviour into perspective, you can see what needs to change. First things first, business before pleasure - but which is which?
Thanks for entering the group contest!
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This is an eye-opener! It is hard for me to keep things in balance, I focus on details too much too, and let the important things wait on trivial details. Thanks for your wisdom.
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How True!
Sounds just like me, I wonder how many of us have the very same issue? Great job explaining the never ending search for our muse. Good luck in the contest!
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This poem was written very well you expressed yourself and all your frustrations with a lot of passion.
I see why this poem has won a couple of homorable trophies.
Thank you so much for entering my contest and I wish yo uthe best of luck. -
This brought home the message that we are inclined to fixate with regards to poetry, call it artistic temperment I enjoyed this poem and feel your pang as you search for the perfect rhyme
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Very contemporary and the flow is likeable. The figurative language used such as personification and metaphor is really beautiful.
On a personal note, I think that the piece if a name wasn't mentioned. Still, a beautiful piece.
Thanks so much for sharing and I wish you all the best in the contest. Keep writing fellow poet.
>>>VIRGOAN
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Delightful metaphor! Enjoyable meter and rhyming. Line 1, possibly you meant 'peek' instead of 'peak'?
I recently read (can't remember where) that "Perfection is the enemy of 'done'." It certainly is for me! You remind me to seek for balance. Congrats on the HM!
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Thanks for the correction! I missed that one.
Thanks for the comment and the clappies.
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This is great! Love the rhythm and flow. This is so very true. We as poets suffer for perfection and of course,neglect everthing else.I can so relate to this.
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Thanks!
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Wow ~
Hey Joyce.....another fine entry ~
You have made it hard for me once again ~
This is splendid in rhyme and focus ~
Such a Theme of which we can all relate to at one
point or another ~
Lovely Presentation and flow as well ~
Great personafication ~
I wish you the best!
Bear ~
Title 9.6
Flow 9.8
Depth 9.7
Theme 9.8
Feelings 9.3
Grammar 9.4
Presentation 10
Uncommonness 9.2
Sit & Ponder Affect 9.4
Ability to follow Rules 9.0
Bears Score: 95.2
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I tend to get hyper-focused on things that interest me. It can be a blessing or a curse. I can relate to what you write here. May we all find that divine balance that is needful to our well being.
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this is alot like my writes... simple imagery that most people can relate too.....you do have a typo(grammatical) 6th line my should me... oh and thanks for viewing my write ..peae and harmony...desi
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Thank you for pointing that out. Somehow, I had "greets my every day" in mind. But, I had written each. Once I changed it to "every" here, I could go either way. Changed it to "me" as you suggested, because it flows much better. Again, Thanks!
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Thia is really good. I loved every word of it and the flow was excelent! Great job!
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wow..
i know what you mean here.. i do that too..where u gt wrapped up in something and sort of loose site of the important things..i like this poem very much..
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A very well penned piece. We all tend to lose sight of ourselves from time to time, and tend to let emotions, chores, and everything else kind of pile up to the side. Just remember, all those things that make us dread life, will be there tomorrow too - do what you can each day; step by tiny step. Great write! Thank you for sharing!
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Thanks for reading, your comment, and the clappies!
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