Atoms rising inside me like helium balloons,
Pupils dilate as I fixate on this world,
A scummy man drags me through an inch of dirt,
And pushes me down into its unpleasant smell,
Nerves convulsing within my body,
Blood congealing around an old reborn wound,
Now he shall have his fun when he tries to break me,
Spitting on me he drags me to a carcass of death,
Throat spasms wretch bile from my acid gut,
As the unholy smell reaches my sensitive nose,
Now nothing will save me as he pulls out a rifle
And I am to be remembered as dead carcass No. 2
P D Dawson (Darkimagination)
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Powerful write. I liked the first line with the mention of the atoms. It made me think of them as a spirit rising out of a body. The ending seemed really sad because of being referred to as a number. I think every person in life who gets killed in a horrible way should be remembered by name or better yet, for the kind of person they were in life. We read many stories of cases of people who have been killed, some still mysteries, some in music and film, etc, but most of the time, people just hear about the way people died and their career. I think everyone should be remembered for the person they were in life, outside of their careers and how they lived. Fantastic write.

