you thought you killed me
but you didn't really
I'm still alive my spirit
still thrives you threw
me on the bed and you
bashed in my head you
thought i was dead but
no not really you put
me in a bag so far you
had to drag you took me
to a lake you said that
it wasn't such an awful
fate you threw me in
you thought it would
end you thought
i was dead but no not really
they searched
for my body they
thought it had rotted
they thought i was
dead but no not really
now I'm free so you can
no longer do this to me
yeah you thought i was
dead but not really
so now I'm a ghost and
your my host I'm after you
like you were after me...now
I'm free cause you thought
i was dead but i wasn't really
so now ill catch my killer and
make him pay cause he thought
i was dead but no not really
Author notes
smashedbutterfly
A contest entry
- Life isn't everything, Death isn't nothing 1000+ point contest, LOTS OF OPTIONS!~Still open!!!~ by Soten-Jaganshi.
1100 points, ended September 7, 2007, 62 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Feel Something by edit my world..
425 points, ended September 8, 2007, 59 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Round 1: Hit me With your Best Pre-write. by edit my world..
425 points, ended October 20, 2007, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
you though you killed me
but you - thought
you
though i was dead but-thought
said that
it wasnt such an aweful- awful
fate you threw me in
you though it would-thought
you though i was-thought
I am not going to sugar coat it. This was not so great. The rhyming was forced and it wasnt so good. The repetition wasnt lovely. You misspelled the word 'thought' everytime you had to write it. I dont know why that was but w/e.
This needs a lot and i mean alot of work. Seriously
~dani
thespork princess~
-
this is a really good poem I think its one of the best ones I read!!!!! GOOD JOB!!
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