I.
i am stone,
tossed and tumble-dried
beneath love's wave;
my smooth curves bow
and break to backwash's
curling kiss.
flattened by electric blue
i fall apart like breakfast
toast-crust crumbs
until i am nothing
more than sand
in pretty patterns at your feet.
II.
you are water,
stripped and strewn like marble-shards
which flicker above sand
and haunt to swallow feeble breath.
your brackish skin crinkles
and breaks itself in a myriad
of fierce mirror fantasies.
surges of passion nestle between
stomach and briny thigh;
your tide spins lunacy
and eclipses my every move
with waves far sweeter than poetry.
III.
one universe;
together, we are the ocean.
In a list
A contest entry
- Just Another Options Contest by zhaniswolf.
300 points, ended October 1, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-write Party ~ Closes In One Day by Namita.
300 points, ended October 1, 2007, 88 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrite? by Melissa Gayle.
600 points, ended September 23, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Round 1: Hit me With your Best Pre-write. by edit my world..
425 points, ended October 20, 2007, 62 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter Your best. by Antebellum.
550 points, ended July 9, 2009, 157 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites by Flash ss7.
550 points, ended July 12, 2009, 118 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical comments are most welcome.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
wow this is awesome great use of imaginary
Thank you so much for entering my contest,
And Good Luck!
-♥Amy♥ -
'you are water,
stripped and strewn like marble-shards
which flicker above sand
and haunt to swallow feeble breath.'
beautiful imagery.
-
Thanks so much for entering
&&
Good luck.
[if you are placed in the finalists I will leave a better comment] -
Superb indeed. Wow. Thanxx much for entering and good luck to you with this fine entry.
Luv,
Candy
-
o.o Well...there went my chances in the contest...this is superb! (thank you to the theasaurus on my desk for that word of the day) This is very beautiful, and it took my imagination on a roller-coaster ride. Great job, keep up the good work, and good luck in the contesteroo!
~Avan~ -
if my comment sucks, it because i really don't know what to say other than wow. this was an amazing poem that brings an extended metaphor to the meaning of love. it was simply amazing. great write. simply wonderful. wow....
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