growing up, moving on

within the comfort of my lavendar
twin-sized bed, in the confines of the
off-white walls that have been
caving in one me,
slowly suffocating me
for the last nineteen years-
I wonder if I am ready to be
the woman I so desperately
want to be

with my life packed
into bags and boxes
the ugly walls blank,
after hours of tearing my
childhood off of them-
I gaze around, and know
these are the last nights
I will live here
for the rest of my life

from here on out,
I will merely be a guest
in my own chilhood home;
I realize I will become an
outsider in my own family,
missing out on special
occasions and shared memories

but it is time for me
to make my own family,
to create my own special occasions
and share memories with others-
it is time for me to begin becoming
the woman I so desperately
want to be